L'espoir la foi et l'amour

My first wedding cupcake tree!

2009-07-27T00:05:00.004+08:00

I made my first wedding cupcake tree!!

Took me 15 hours!!! Guess it could have been much faster if i had a bigger over and bigger mixer!

I love baking!! But Baking like 120 cupcakes is NOT FUNNY at all!!!

I guess when i saw the smile of the wedding couple's face and received the many compliments from guests, i felt like it was all worth while =)

Gonna put up pictures when i get them!

I'm so glad that i've started work. Its such a relief from all the lab work and crap in school! Gosh. All those war time atrocities!! It was such a nightmare!

Morever, the nurse that assists me is really nice and funny!

Holidays!!

2008-09-14T16:30:00.007+08:00

I am so so happy that its the holidays again Perhaps i should stop complaining abt school since i won't be getting holidays when i start working. i simply adore the serenity and peacefulness of the past week. I am free from the hustle and bustle of my normal schedule. Its just awesome to be able to sleep in, relax, run and do anything that pleases me
Gosh life is Good Hanging out and ebay-ing with my favourite friend over a grande ice passionfruit tea

fternoons spent Enjoying a glass of vintage wine with Great company
Chilling out at timbre
Savouring the morning goodness - the sun , the fresh air and my egg onion thosai
whipping up a meal after my long run on my new 17km route

Family affair

2008-05-12T13:33:00.004+08:00

I prepared a picnic for my family on mother's day and invited my God parents and family friends along too!
There wasn't much time to cook, so i bought some dips, chips and made a wrap as well as apple walnut muffins with maple cream cheese frosting!
Its probably one of the simplest meals i've prepared, but everyone enjoyed it nonetheless

Vegetable sticks with eggplant and hommus dip Apple walnut cupcakes with maple cream cheese frosting
My brother and i
Happy mother's Day Mommy! Love you lots!
My mom, aunty Lan, me and God ma
Random shots

Spiritual consolation

2008-04-13T23:33:00.002+08:00

It was another enlightening sunday evening. The priest spoke abt vocation, service to God.
A vocation is dedicating ones life, out of love, to God. to be fully committed to serving him and living for him. A vocation is very much like a marriage. In a marriage, 2 people are willing to be committed and to give up their lives because of their love for each other. They are willing to make sacrifices and put the other person's happiness and interest before themselves. Similarly, it is the love for God, that spurs one on to serve him.

Some may find it hard to comprehend how it is humanly possible to give up things for others and for God, what more to put others and God before himself. Perhaps we should then ask ourselves, if we are too self absorbed. To one who is self absorbed, giving up their own interests, is tantamount to losing what they have. They fail to understand that it is in giving and 'losing,' that one actually gains, receives and learns to love. Those who are self absorbed are unable to trust God fully. They would rather depend their own strength and be in control. However, humans are all falliable and prone to making mistakes. God is the only one that we can depend on and trust. For His love is perfect and it is only in His love can we find spiritual consolation, strength and security. ' There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives away all fear' 1john 4:18

Giving ones life to God isn't a bed of roses. There are times when we do not feel God, there are times we feel down. Some times we do not realize that its during the times when we encounter the absence of God and we fall, that God shows us our weaknesses and imperfections. It is in trials that we can cling on to Him and grow.

I guess, i have much to learn- about trusting God, serving Him and learning to be more giving and less self absorbed in my wants and my fears.

Birthday dinner

2008-03-23T21:40:00.002+08:00

Its my parent's birthday! which means its time for a feast again!
today's meal is simple, fuss free and fulfilling!

Greek salad - tomatoes, feta cheese and Red wine vinegar dressing

Tapenade(olive dip) and salsa dip with rye bread

Baked polenta with mushrorom ragout.
Yummy!! i absolutely Love mushrooms! Mushrooms were cooked in beef broth and red wine.

Easter cupcakes - moist carrot muffins with chunks of pineapple, walnuts and lots of raisins!
Panna cotta with berry compote

I love love love love cooking and trying out new recipes! Happy easter!!

To walk in the light

2008-03-02T20:08:00.002+08:00

Today's reading reflected and complimented the theme that seem to dominate my conversations this weekend- Change and healing

Eph 5:8-14
Brothers and sisters:
You were once darkness,but now you are light in the Lord.
Live as children of light,for light produces every kind of goodnessand righteousness and truth.
Try to learn what is pleasing to the Lord.
Take no part in the fruitless works of darkness;
rather expose them, for it is shameful even to mention the things done by them in secret;
but everything exposed by the light becomes visible,
for everything that becomes visible is light.
Therefore, it says:
“Awake, O sleeper,and arise from the dead,and Christ will give you light.”

The Gospel reading for today is John 9:1-41 on the healing of the blind man.

Often, we shy away from the light of God. Perhaps because we think its is too glaring, or perhaps we prefer to live in the comfort of darkness. Yes, we are often resistant to change, to anything that requires Us to step out of our comfort zone.
Some times we may blame it on God, saying that he doesn't give us enough strength, that he doesn't change our hearts.
Today's reading is encouraging. It reminds us again that living in darkness is fruitless and meaningless. It is not pleasing in the eyes of God and ultimatelyonly causes us to be unhappy, disatisfied with life and jaded.
We are told to expose the works of darkness. And perhaps, exposing them means acknowledging them, bringing them up to God in prayer, confessing our sins, asking for forgiveness. When they are exposed, the light of God will shine upon them.
The light of God's resplendant glory, will transform us. And perhaps all we need is a humble spirit, a contrite heart and the willingness to let His light shine on us and work in our lives.

And this light will also heal us. Just like in the Gospel readings when jesus healed the man who was blind. To be blind is to live in darkness and the light is healing. Perhaps many of us claim to live in the light and not be blind. But are we actually allowing that light to shine upon us?

There are many times when i ask myself: if God is really working in my life, why am i so screwed up? how can i be so horrible. Perhaps, just like in the readings, its is when we are blind that the power of God and his transforming power can be revealed through us, and we can be a living testimony to His word. And it is when we are weak that God's grace abounds.

2 corinthians 12: 7-11
Therefore, that I might not become too elated, 3 a thorn in the flesh was given to me, an angel of Satan, to beat me, to keep me from being too elated.
Three times 4 I begged the Lord about this, that it might leave me,
but he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness." I will rather boast most gladly of my weaknesses, in order that the power of Christ may dwell with me. Therefore, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and constraints, for the sake of Christ; for when I am weak, then I am strong.

Birthday celebration

2008-01-21T10:30:00.000+08:00

we celebrated addie's birthday at Les brasserie at club street! we were seated in a private room. After much fuss and a long conversation with the manager, we finally made our orders. Addie ordered a foie gras, which tasted really raw and kinda different from those that i have previously ate. I had black cod with mushrooms and leek. The skin was really crispy and i loved the mushroom and leek combination!! But i must say that the food is kinda overpriced. For the same amount, i can probaly get smth nicer at a restaurant like the cliff, where the ambience is definitely superior.

Sally baked a oreo cheese cake for addie! yummY!!

We were talking about our times spent in RGS and RJ..the WEIRD people, those that were getting married, close friends..Gosh..its been so long..10 yrs..i really do feel old.

We adjourned to Fashion bar after qiuyun's bf picked her up. We shold have headed to TCC instead..coz all of us ordered mocktails.haha..

i really really enjoy gatherings like this. Our next scheduled meeting is on the 30th after my oral pathology test and after sally returns from her holiday!!!!

sally, gilian, addie, me and eleanor at fashion bar

Happy birthday addie!

2008-01-21T10:22:00.001+08:00

15th jan was addie's birthday!
Me, sally and eleanor and the girls planned to give her a surprise !
We liased with her sister, yvonne to distract her for as long as possible after her dinner with her family, while we decorate her house before she returns.
HOWEVER
As me and gilian were going up the lift to her house, yvonne suddenly called to say that she's walking home and will be back VERY SOON! we rushed up and ended up taking the wrong flight of stair case. As we were running down the stairs after we figured out the correct route, we heard 2 voices that seems to be drawing closer and closer!!! We got the happy birthday banner ready and finally managed to get into her house after fumbling with the house keys. about 30 seconds after we entered the house. Addie arrived!!! GOSH! we were panicking and din't even manage to get the cake out of the cake box nor decorate the house! That was real close!

And addie arrived home with Eleanor! Addie entered the same lift as eleasnor!!

Although our surprise din't work out as planned, Addie was pretty much surprised anyways! She LOVED the awfully chocolate cake! haha...

matching kate spade wallet!

2008-01-05T13:10:00.000+08:00

oh my gosh. i found a black kate spade wallet that matches my kate spade bag!!! Chanced upon it while i was helping my friend search for a kate spade/coach black bag for his girlfriend for valentines day and her birthday. It was selling for 129 US at an ebay seller's website and i found another last night bidding for 99 US! the bid was supposed to end at 5 am this morning..and guess wat..I FORGOT TO WAKE UP TO BID FOR IT! i was too too tired..and now..i have to pay like 30US more for the other one ( unless i find another one on ebay). Gosh im SO PISSED OFF AT MYSELF!!

Reflections on 07

2008-01-01T16:24:00.000+08:00

2007 has been a rough year. I'm glad its finally over. Its pretty much been an emotional roller coaster ride. What struck me most was my lack of commitment to God.
Regretfully, i have spent little time with God this year. And my walk with Him has been far from close.
.This year i have experienced the most emotional turmoil.

The confusion of having to decide between people and having to figure out compatibility and if he's the right one.
Experiencing the high life of being treated like a princess, going to fancy restaurants, receiving exquisite gifts.
Dealing with other's emotions
Running away and escaping from all the emotions and frustrations
Living in Periods of Darkness and spying
Snowballing of lies
Explosion of the snowballs and having to deal with its disastrous impact
Clearing up the emotional rubble
SEarching for God in the midst of chaos

Perhaps you can say its exciting and dramatic. but i'd say its emotional draining.

. Choice weekend and my holiday has made me realise that i do love my brothers and my parents alot, Especially

This year has reminded me of who my real friends are. Damien, father les, grace, Addie, darren, zhi ying,pris eleanor, jialin..and all my friends who have really made a difference to my life. Thanks for being here, for loving me, for supporting me and for not judging me.

I am so glad that Addie is back and we are meeting up and sharing our lives so much more! Our friendship means so much to me!! LOVE YOU BABE!!!!

In 2008, i'd like to have a closer walk with God. I hope to be more committed to the choir, and to join bible study.
i"d like to spend more time with my family, especially with Ian. To be there for him especially as he's going through his very difficult period of growing up.

I want to get my life back on track, to lead a normal peaceful life.

I must admit that i haven't spent that much time with my close friends. in this new year, i'd like to spend more time, being there for them as how they've been here for me

More importantly, i wanna live in the light, In God's light, and let his light lead my path

More food!

2008-01-01T00:40:00.000+08:00

i had a lil' gathering on the 29th =) and i cooked again! haha..im really on a cooking frenzy!! spent several days preparing ..

Here are some of the items i prepared

deviled eggs with sour cream and salmon roe

Parmaesan custard tart with butternut squash

Cumin roasted potatoes with smoked salmon, creme fraiche and carviar

there was also bread sticks

and many others that i didn't take pictures of.. christmas cheesecake with toffee filling, spiced pumpkin cupcakes with caramel icing. YUMMY!

Christmas!

2007-12-26T01:29:00.000+08:00

Its christmas again!.. which means its Cooking time! since 2..or maybe 3 years ago, i started a family tradition where i cook for christmas dinner and invite our close friends: My God parents and Aunty Lan and Uncle Bob! this year's no different! except that my dishes this year were MUCH MUCH simpler than those 2 years ago. haha

I made winter fruit salad with lemon poppyseed dressing for starters. It was just awesome! the dressing was fantastic and complimented the avocado and red apples! my guests were pretty surprised that there was poppy seed! ( its unavailable in singapore)

First course was wild mushroom bread pudding. I love mushrooms! most of my dinners always include mushrooms =) this dish got rave reviews from everyone! it was a unique dish which most have never tasted before and the perfect blend of creaminess, woody-ness from the mushrooms and aroma from the flat leave parsley and shallots.

My main course was baked salmon with cranberry thyme crust. Gosh. This was really TO DIE FOR! My only regret was baking it for 15 mins. i should have reduced baking time to perhaps 10 mins so that it was more moist. And the best thing is that its so so easy to make! The panko japanese bread crumbs really made the dish special! i made a mayonaise mustard sauce for the salmon!

And finally! The dessert! Spiced pumpkin cake with caramel frosting. I must say that this cake required more work but it was worth all that effort. The cake and caramel combination wasn't too sweet and the rum soaked dried fruit and rum brushed on the cake really gave it a unique christmas-sy touch =) it was AWESOME! everyone loved it! And the decor was simple =) I couldn't stop eating the cake!!!

A much needed holiday

2007-12-16T22:53:00.000+08:00

I left for malaysia on friday early morningin at 7am. Gosh i had to get up at 430am..i almost died..i was so so so tired...

We arrived at Kota kinabalu ( sabah) and checked into The sutera harbour pacific hotel. me and my brothers are sharing a room that faces the golf course while my parent's room faces the sea! geez im so jealous

On the first day, we went for a short city tour on foot. It is so sunny and humid here, unlike the rainy weather in singapore in December! But i really prefer the cool, wet, rainy climate =) its just so...romantic..haha

The rest of the day was spent checking out the hotel. I love the sea..my family was taking a stroll by the pavement by the yatch docking area. The water was so so clear! i could see the fishes and the sea urchins and sting rays from where i was standing! We checked out a several scuba diving courses.

DAY 2

We had to get up at 630am ..sigh..another early morning...Our pickup was at 730am. The tour bus was to take us up kota kinabalu. My brothers and I were so psyched up and were in tracking atire and we even brought a change of clothes.
However, we were kinda disappointed as we only walked in the forest path for an hour. And that short walk was to lead us to the Canopy walk.

ARGHH! IM SO AFRAID OF HEIGHTS I COULD HAVE DIED ! IT WAS NERVER WRECKING! The canopy walk did not only consist of 1 bridge . there were 6 bridges that we had to walk across..Oh my gosh..i thought i was going to fall off the bridge and die.

The canopy walk was opened to tourist in 1998. It was initally built for wild life research purposes in 1990.
Near the vacinity was also a kota kinabalu hot springs. We were yet again disappointed as the private rooms were fully occupied.Geez..

We also visited the kinabalu park, we took a 20 min walk into the forest where we were introduced to several wild fruits.

The first was a berry bush. The berries are pink but turn dark purple when they are ripe
The tour guide also showed us the wild figs, which actually look like mini dragon fruits=) He also mentioned that wild figs are very important source of calcium to the animals and that if you wanna view some wild life, you should just quietly spy in a bush near a wild fig =)

talking about spying...i can't believe that for the first time..i actually kinda..liberated to be away from singapore, away for my friends and those that are dear to me...like i can actually walk around in peace and just reflect upon my life, upon God and his blessing, upon how much my friends and love ones matter to me

Sometimes i just wanna run..run..run...run run...run...

*ps: i'l post pictures when i get back

letting go....

2007-12-03T18:32:00.000+08:00

Some times its better to let go..
one Doesnt cease to care
But Set those that matter free and be truly happy
And perhaps entrust matters in the hands of the Almighty

Letting Go of the past
Letting go of those that matter
Letting Go of the guilt, the pain, the sorrow

It is so hard , so painful
But in Him i will find that strength
The strength to lead my life anew,
To live my life for Him

Perhaps in letting go,
can we be given a new heart and a right spirit
can the ones that matter find happiness

For freedom..is not the ability to do anything u please
but in doing what is right.
For the truth and God's plan, will set you free

CHOICE weekend

2007-11-26T12:15:00.000+08:00

Its been ages since i wrote on my blog..past few weeks have been hell..i've been stuck in the rut, stuck in the abyss of darkness. I really thank God for lifting me up and setting me free.

The weekend at CHOICE has been most meaningful and reflective.
It made me realised so many things..things that i'd never realised or things that i've realised but never understood.

A relationship is about belonging to another.Communication in a relationship is very important.A relationship starts to a fall apart without communication. To communicate is to really open up to another, not just to blabber and talk abt things..but to express to another things that really matter

Every one plays games..'Games' are our means of dealing with people, dealing with problems.however, these games adversely affect our relationships with the ones we love. It prevents us from belonging to those we love.
For example, some are escapist and deal with problems by escaping. While others would just say 'OK' to everything, even though they may disagree.

" Games" are defend mechanisms that people develop to prevent themselves from getting hurt.

i signed up for the retreat with the help and support from my brother Ray. it took alot of courage. Coz i've never really been the kind who goes for such things..especially not alone.
But i did manage to make new friends! Marianne, Pamela, Joanne

I have learnt so much abt myself... about my relationships with my friends, my family. And in His own way...God has changed me..healed me..

hopefully all these realisations and changes are not too late. Perhaps i can't undo things that have been done..but i can do damage control..Or maybe that still isn't good enough..

the retreat has REALLy enlightened me and i'd highly encourage everyone to go....Believe me..your life will change after that..

mom, dad, me, aunty ying and Uncle Bernard

marianne, me and pamela

Turmoil

2007-11-10T18:56:00.000+08:00

The past week has just been turbulent.
Yet i just want to pretend, that things are all right..that things are ok...
But when the truth is so jarring, its hard

This step back into reality is eating into me

i become numb, devoid of emotions, emptied of tears.

What has become of me.
Am i to live in regret, forever?
Perhaps this is but a beautiful disaster

i don't know..i don't know anything anymore.
my mind is just a whirlpool of thoughts

Where are You? ..when i just need You to help me sort things out, to tell me its ok
I don't feel Your presence like i used to.
I can't hear your voice like before.
Right now all i feel is emptiness.

Why can't things go back to the way they use to be..
Simple and sweet
why, why, why, why
is it just me?

But through All the crappiness. i have to thank my friends..my dear friends who are standing by me.

Damien, Darren, zhiyin, suraj, grace, addie, father les, john..

thank you...for being here...for listening to me, for drying my tears. i could never been more blessed to have friends like you

Sunlight

2007-11-05T21:51:00.000+08:00

A million thoughts whizzing through my mind
Thoughts of joy, thoughts of hope
Thoughts of despondance, thoughts of woe

I hold dear the images of perfection
Moments of unspoken understanding
I relish those connections moments
And treasure the rubbish moments

This love, akin to the sun in my sky
Is abounding in warmth and gentleness
It is blazing with passion,
Its loveliness like the ephemeral sunset
Even in darkness, its tenderness glows like the moonlight

Perhaps one day its beauty would be revealed in full resplendance

Perhaps..He would hear the anguish of our souls
And right the wrongs..In His time
Perhaps He'd help me believe
That fairy tales do end happily ever after

But right now... i need a miracle

All she wants

2007-11-03T16:27:00.000+08:00

All she wants to do is hold on
hold on to those moments so sweet
Those moments so dear to her
Moments where she simply melts in his gaze

All she wants to feel is his embrace
His loving touch,
His voice calling out her name

For in his arms does she find peace,
peace admist the world so cruel.
In his arms, she listens to his heart beating.
She wonders if his heart beats just for her,
Like how hers does for him

All she wants to remember
Is his warmth,
Like the fireplace on a cold winter night
And his gentleness
Like the sunlight that softly peeks in through the window each morning

All she wants
Is to hear him sing her lullabies
All she wants
Is just to be in his loving presence
To be contented with the beauty of nothingness, with him

i Wish....

2007-10-30T08:41:00.000+08:00

i wish i could stay awhile with you,
And watch as clouds fly us by.

I wish i could lay awhile with you,
And listen to your stories like lullabies

I wish the world would stand still
And we hide in unspoken solace,
Like the caves and fireplaces of your embrace

I wish i could stay awhile with you
And watch as songs fly us by.

Winter

2007-10-28T19:44:00.000+08:00

she unlocked her heart
Confidently believing in her rein over it,
Trusting in her cognitive ability to set things right

Yet emotions that now inundate her creeped up unwittingly
They engulf her being
As she falls prey to the snares of the thief,
The thief who stole her heart

Her Heart is like wintersnow that has met the warmth of spring
Her emotions like a flickering candle threatened by an impending snow storm
Her predicament seems akin to a falling snowflake, that would dissipate with his human touch.

With Such ambivalence so foreign
She hesitates to unveil the secrets of her heart in consternation
For he would scurry and vanish with knowledge of the depth of the passion within her.
Would he care and complete the fairytale already started ?
Or escape from these feelings so profound and perhaps unreciprocated?
And she would be left empty, torn apart

Left alone feeling unsettled and listless
Her world comes to a standstill.
Should she abnegate herself of her indulgence?
Or perhaps struggle to triumph over the odds?

falling

2007-10-28T00:57:00.000+08:00

i am falling..
falling so deep into this abyss

beauty's so fragile, so transient
One minute its yours to hold
but vanishes in the next

Relentless searching
Has led me thus far.
i wanna search no more
Will you ever be mine?

I would give up my world for u
Would u do the same for me too?

perhaps i;ve never been good enough
Never had your heart.

My heart is breaking,
Will you mend this sorry heart of mine?

shattered

2007-10-24T00:24:00.000+08:00

Too much emotions
Too few words

Clouded by images
haunted by memories

Aching with each passing minute
Distraught beyond comprehension

What can i ever do to make things right?
am i condemned for life?

happiness is a mat that sits on your door way

2007-10-20T01:20:00.000+08:00

beautifully perfect
perfectly amazing

cherishing each moment,
savouring every laughter,
living like its gonna be the last.

reality pricks me
Truth screams out

will the beauty fade
will i again be earthbound

I find comfort in his happiness
Peace in his presence

complexities seemingly paves the way
But Happiness is a mat that sits on the doorway

treading into what i know not of,
I bare my soul without any hope of returns

The wrong shall be made right , in his time

CRASH!!!

2007-10-19T00:21:00.000+08:00

My com crashed..yes you heard me.. MY COM CRASHED...gosh..i think it short circuited..and wiped out the whole hard drive..im so so frustrated..all my stuff is gone..geezzz..and like im trying to install all the rubbish for my com now..its so so frustrating..u have no idea...

i am so so glad that the OP test is over..its so so horrible..geezzz...

But i went out with pris today !! yippee! we haven't had time to go out in SO SO LONG!! it was so fuN! i bought a new blue dress! Thank God its friday...one more day of sch and its the weekends!

Great pretenders, indeed we are
Pretenders of perfection
Escapists of realities

This fairy tale, will it endure?
The harshness of realities
The practicalities of Life

These realitites, i shall know not.
Lest i awake from this dream
This dream too beautiful to be real, too perfect to be true

Will i succumb to my circumstances? To these practicalities that imprison me?
Will this become but a part of bitter sweet memories?
Faiy tales, will they every become reality
Or will i just be made a fool?
A fool living in the shadows of my painful past

For even the best fall down some times
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find, that you and i, collide.

sleepy....

2007-10-14T23:14:00.000+08:00

Im so so tired! oh my gosh. i think my sleep debt can never be replenished! gosh...

Friday was girl's night out! well..kinda..haha..i was with addie and her collegue rose..as well as ih-ming at barfly! the hazelnut martini was pretty good! the chocolate one here sucks though..haha..ooh wellss...Many of addie's IE collegues were there too..friday night totally made me understand wat addie and ih-ming call ' vultures' . GOSH i was so so disgusted..im not gonna elaborate..but YUCKS...geezz

Most of my saturday was spent in church for bible conX.. i must confess that i was kinda..half awake..haha..oh and i totally addicted to the chocolatier game! its getting me hooked! GOSH! \

Sunday was spent sleeping...zzzzzzzz.....i tried to study..but not very productive today =) which means..i have to spend the next 2 days mugging! haha...

We only want what we cannot get.
perhaps that explains why never fail to dig my own grave.

i dont wanna grow up
fairytales, fantasies, optimism, unconditional trust, simplicity, beauty
Will i ever believe again?

i've never seen so much tears in her eyes
the hurts i will never truly comprehend
yet i feel her anguish, i feel her pain

Perhaps im afraid of becoming like her
Afraid of the pain that may await me

O God, you search me,
indeed you do.
You know me through and through,
you saw my afflicitions and know the anguish of my soul

I know my soul only finds its rest in You
yet i can't reach out to u the way i used to
Carry me beneath Your wings as you promised
Let me feel Your presence once Again, Let me find You

Guoan's birthday!

2007-10-12T01:39:00.000+08:00

yesterday we wanted to give guoan a surprise! i baked a chocolate fudge cake for hiM! Me and pris decorated it 1o mins before lunch! haha..but guoan's too sharp..he noticed us from miles away..bah....all our efforts gone to waste

Today i finally manage to find Dr Thien to sign my special tray ( custom impression tray) for my patient.and she said it was very gd..hahhaha...im so proud of myself..

I started playing hte game chocolatier! geezz its so so fuN! im addicted..but..i have a test next week....gosh..im such a freak!

Melancholy, cynicism, disappointments, frustrations

myraid of emotions torment me.

Through it all, I still believe.

That He knows it all, He has the answer.

I shall Trust, challenging as it may be

If i keep trying..one day everything will be alright

i hate good byes

2007-10-10T00:03:00.000+08:00

today i met addie and jialin! yippppeeeeee!! Addie and I had dinner at New York new York at city link. im must ssay that the philly steak burger Addie had is pretty good!! i really enjoyed their tomato soup! i love tomato soup!

jialin joined us at abt 9pm at clarke quay. She wanted to chill at kandy Bar but we ended up at Nectarie and had a caramel banana waffle and apple crumble! yummY! i love desserts! Our conversations revolved around random pple and random things that have been happening to me and everything that could possibly be retarded ..hahaha...my life is SERIOUSLY retarded man..seriously..haha..

We REALLY had a great time...and for most of the night we forgot that it'd be jialin's last night with us..sigh....It felt so so crappy when we had to say our good byes..i don't know man.. like i just felt i was gonna burst out into tears..sigh...I'm gonna miss you babe!!!!!!

Today made me feel really really really really screwed up and messed up..like when will my life ever be normal...everyone seems to have an agenda, there's always more than meets the eye. I hate being read like an open book...i hate guys. i repeat. I HATE GUYS...guys are really nothing but trouble.. seriously...a guy around my age is so immature and childish and untactful. yet guys that are much older just have too much game...They seem to be playing some kinda mind game. What the hell is wrong with the male species...seriously..geezz

some words of wisdom babes....you don't need many many guys..you just need 1 right guy...

i really missed apple today..my bro was showing me videos of the puppies he was viewing today ..they were just SO SO SO SO cute..oh my gosh...and i really kept thinking of apple the whole day.Like i don't even think im ready for a new dog..its been almost a year...but it seems to me that Apple will be my only best friend and no other can replace her..its just gonna be different...

baking again!!!

2007-10-08T23:00:00.000+08:00

i baked today again!! YIIIPPPPPEEEEEE!!!!!!

im so so happy everytime i bake....i baked biscotti for jialin..its her farewell present!! also baked fudgy chooclate cupcakes with coffee chocolate frosting! i gonna crushed some wether's original candies and sprinkled them on top! that'll give it an extra crunch! yum! the frosting is still in the fridge as im typing this..hopefully i can finish by 1am tonight! i love baking late at night..where its so quiet. i just feel so at peace with myself and im in my own lil' carefree world, where nothing else matters except watching the pastry in the oven rise and trying to delicately decorate them....Its all about perfection - the batter with the right texture, the exact amt of moisture and just enough frosting to complement the pastry and extra adornments thats gonna make it special and give it that omph

if only things in my world could be that perfect. Perfection seems so hard to come by. And when u think you've found it..it'll either slip right through your fingers or disappoints u.

Im SO SO HAPPY jialin came today!!!! im gonna miss her REALY BAD when she leaves..oh no babe!!! DUN GO!!!!

oh !! and the most important thing is that i successfully bidded for my black kate spade bag online!!! the bid increased US$60 in the last 2 mins!! geeezzz! luckily i outbidded the other person in the last 4 seconds..phew..i love it..its so so nice..

i know i should stop buying bags and clothes and all..but i have a bag fetish! especailly for white bags..hahaha..i love the Tod's white bag!!! well...unfortunately the poor student here won't be able to afford it..at least not YET.hahaha..

LAZY sunday..

2007-10-08T00:21:00.001+08:00

today's such a lazy sunday..The raining and gloomy weather made it just PERFECT to be just lying in bed the WHOLE DAY! and i have to confess that is pretty much what i did!

i had dinner at Orginal sin again with jervis..I LOVE THE SALADS!!! i had principessa salad. Its mixed salad leaves with marinated mushrooms, roasted pumpkin and avodado . Gosh.. i really could just eat salads for the rest of my life..hahaha...me and jervis shared a mezze platter for starters..its a plate of slices of pita bread with different types of dips..yummmyy!! i love the falafels too! thanks for the dinner and the company tonight jervis!

Principessa salad

Mezze platter

today's reading was on faith and the mustard seed..Father philip heng was preaching abt how to have faith we have to learn to let go, especially of our false securities..and things that distant ourselves away from God..perhaps..that is my msg..I have to learn to let go of the many false securities in my life.these things that i hold on to just help me decrease my reliance and trust in God.

It seems so easy in principle..but i know..its hard letting go..it always is.. Perhaps these false securities have been clouding my vision. I just try to temporarily seek solace from the whirlpool that im constantly thrown into..I need the strength, the wisdom and courage..to do what is right..and what is pleasing in God's sight..

As i reached home this evening,, i just sat by my piano. The song ' My greatest love' kept playing in my mind..And i jus spent the next 15 mins tinkling away on the piano. This is one of the few songs that really touches my heart and could even bring tears to my eyes..At the same time ..it is so comforting, so soothing.

Every new day
Your glory unfolds
Filling my eyes
With Your treasures untold
The beauty of holiness
Brings worship anew
My greatest love is You

Call me deeper
Into Your grace
The river that flows
From the Holy Place
Wash over me
Cleansing me through
My greatest love is You

Some times i reallyd on't understand whats happening to me..why all these bizarre and crappy sequence of events keep occurring.will i ever be able to break away from this viscious cycle?
i am tired..i need some stability, some peace, that I know only He can impart to me.

Yes i know from Isaiah 55, that His ways are not my ways..and He will make things right in HIs own time..I try to lean on that ..for the courage to live my days...yet..some times i wonder..some times i doubt, some times im tired..

i don't know..i really don't..i need a miracle

RANDOMNESS

2007-10-07T03:16:00.001+08:00

i got up at 1130 today..and that totally ruined my running plans. bah. i ended up running at like at 12pm in the BLAZING hot sun. And it totally din't help that my insoles were rubbing against the sole of my feet..and i just had stop running when i reached botanicals..geezzz

I had lunch with my parents and my brother at original sin. I LOVE the food at original sin. Its so so good..( despite being vegetarian)...and by the way..IM A COW! i love vegetables..well.. some of my friends calll me a hamster..hahaha..

the afternoon was spent at Toa Payoh Hub doing dental screening. GEEZ... i just totally had to repeat the same oral health instructions ( OHI) over and over and over again..and my chinese TOTALLY SUCKS..explaining to patients things in chinese is just driving me nuts..seriously..sigh..Many of the patients who make good exam cases! BUT unfortunatly we were explicitly told that we can't solicit for patients during the health screening session..sigh..i don't hink i'll ever find and exam case and i wont be able to graduate.CRAP..

The highlight of the day was meeting addie and Ih-ming for dinner! we had dinner at pier eleven.its a restaurant tucked away at marina pier. The ambience is pretty gd! Its pretty rustic..and its so calming sitting at the tables over looking the sea .

But i must say that the food is only mediocre. me and addie ordered crispy sea bass and ih-ming ordered cod. It nots FANTASTIC...hmmm....

we adjourned to Bar stop for drinks! its on devonshire road behind a SPC petrol station. Its apparently owned by the owners of Wala's. the live music there is pretty good! and i like the double story platforms that over look the performance area.. We ordered a bottle of D'sati..its a slightly sweet and light red wine! Thanks for introducing it to Us Ih-ming! One of my frens, kenneth who i randomly met outside St peter and Paul church came over to join us too. Oh..the theme of the night was "RANDOMNESS" we were just talking abt all kinds of random things that happened to us...hahaha...i had a glass of Umeshu too! i love japanese plum wine! i had so much of it when i was in japan!!

Socially unaware

2007-10-07T03:16:00.000+08:00

the theme for tonight is 'socially unaware' haha.i met jialin and addie for dinner at a restaurant at central mall called sho-u. the jap food there was pretty unique i must say! unagi sandwich and unagi with egg plant. We also had a rainbow roll ( me and addie had a salad before jialin arrive coz we were STARVING!) haha..Damn! i wish i had my camera with me! i feel so sad blogging without my camera. geeezz....

we headed down to the loof for drinks. and ih-ming joined us toO! the theme of the night was 'socially unaware'. we were just talking abt socially unaware pple..all the WEIRD pple around..gosh..and i was sharing with lil' juicy bits of my otherwise boring school life =) i totally dun understand how socially unaware pple can just NOT GET THE HINT and just live in their own lil' world. its ANNOYING. i just feel like slappin their faces.ARGH..esp MBF..i can't stand her..the more i interact with her, the more i just feel this urge to scream in her face ' WAKE UP YOUR IDEA' . thank goodness i dun need to maintain a 'cordial working relationship' with her.

We headed down to timber at about 12ish to join pris and guoand and waiseng as well as some of pris' hall mates. We had a pizza! yummy..ok..but i must admit i felt guilty after that..eating at like 1am is just SO BAD. gosh.

Dreaded first week of school

2007-09-24T11:40:00.000+08:00

i hate sch!

whats worst is that i spent the last 2 days of my holidays trying to rush my periodontology competency test learning issue ( i did the test before the hols)

My learning issue is on causes of ulcers and causes of anterior open bite

There are like one million possible causes of ulcers! geezz..my powerpoint presentation is about 100 slides! sigh..why did my brother have to get an ulcer of all days..sigh...

i think i baked so much and i spent all my time doing meaingful things that im now rushing this last minute powerpoint presentation. And the WORST part is that i need citations..bah...i spent 2 whole days typing it out and researching i think my eyes are just popping out and im so stoned..

i hate school i hate school i hate school..the system in school is so so retarded....another 1.5 years..and i'll be out of this damn place !!!!!!

ITs only been one week and im flooded with work. sigh..how horrifying.. THank goodness the next week is postponed.but that also means that there is more to cover for the test.

cooking and baking frenzy

2007-09-23T01:39:00.000+08:00

i seriously am on a baking and cooking frenzy..today i baked for jialin, addie and ih-ming! haha..here's wats on the menu

Appetizer: sashimi salad and olive foccacia with basil pesto

Main: Wild mushroom strudeldessert: molten chocolate cakes with ice cream,

strawberry cream cheese tart

green tea cupcakes

i totally loved the sashimi salad! The combination of salmon sashimi, japanese cucumber, avocado and minced red onions is just AMAZING. oh my gosh.

I used about 1.2kg of wild mushrooms in this strudel! I'm a BIG mushroom fan by the way.i love mushrooms..i had the mushroom strudel for dinner and lunch the next day too! yummy!

I was kinda disappointed with the strawberry creamcheese tart. It was nice..but not fanastic.din't quite live up to my expectations..guess i'll have to try again..sigh..

And i kinda underbaked the molten chocolate cakes. i think the oven wasn't hot enough and i underbaked it..so the chocolate kinda oozed out before i could move them onto a plate.sigh..When the cake kinda crumbled..my heart just sank..i just felt like crying. sigh..

Thank goodness for the green tea cupcakes! It was a last minute thingy..but it was AWESOME! the frosting was just out of this world. i totally love them! i could just eat them all day!!

Im addicted to baking..i could just bake all day..try new recipes everyday, read recipes everyday..i just wanna quit sch NOW!!!!!

will there ever be a right time

2007-09-20T17:09:00.000+08:00

last night i dreamt of him. we were talking abt our past, abt what went wrong. he was in that blue polo that i bought for him.

i woke up, only to realise it was a dream. i was overwhelmed. Yet the dream reminded me that he was leaving. His imminent departure was the source of tension our relationship.
perhaps i should have understood, perhaps i should have been satisfied with being with him, even if it meant not having him around physically.
perhaps i should have supported him, encouraged him to live his dreams instead of being stubborn and wanting my way.

It was a heart wrenching day, not because i haven't let go, not because i can't move on, not because i can't forget.
But because it made me realise that there are 2 pple that i have really loved with the love in 1 corinthians 13.
Yet i because i love, i let them go.
And they are happy, pursuing their dreams, being with the ones they love.
perhaps the mere knowledge that they are truly happy makes letting go worthwhile

i don't know when i will ever love another with the love in 1 corinthians 13.
is it better to love so deeply and be hurt, of choose the easy way out and be loved deeply ?

i can only hold on to the blessings of the one i once held so dear, that 'the love in 1 corinthians 13 will sweep me off my feet in God's perfect timing'.

QUIT SCHOOL!

2007-09-19T10:02:00.000+08:00

i wanna quit school and be a pastry chef. After going on my food trail and baking so much this holiday and ESPECIALLY after watching no reservations today..i really wanna quit school and just bake everyday..the thought of being unable to bake everyday..and having to do stupid clinical stuff..just makes me so depressed....

All i wanna do is bake..bake..bake!!

i know what would be the best christmas present ever..a job at the canele or pattisier bakery..if i could work there for perhaps 2 weeks...i'll be so so so so happy...

There's too much to bake..never enough time to finish..and school just zaps all the energy out of me that all i wanna do is sleep..sigh...

theres been so much on my mind, especially after the thought provoking bible study on sunday.

True love
its so simple, yet so difficult to find
you think u know it, but it remains a mystery

Have i found that true love, or have i stopped believing it exist?
will i find that true love, or is it out of my reach, out of my league?

Food Trail!!

2007-09-15T22:54:00.000+08:00

Today i went on a food trail!!

jialing's collegue Ih-Ming picked me up from home at 8.30am and we headed down to dhoby gaut MRT to pick jialin up.

The first stop was casuarine prata. We ordere one plaster prata with egg and another paper prata as well as a chicken curry. The plaster prata was pretty good! however, i'd prefer the paper prata since it is less oily, thinner and larger =)

It started pouring as we drove down to changi village for nasi lemak. gosh. thank goodness i was in shorts in T shirt =) Perhpas the rain was a blessing in disguise..there were only abt 10 people in the queue. What intrigued me the most was the sign in front of the nasi lemak store. Seldom do u find signs in hawker centers without grammatical errors. And the sign even uses the word 'anchovies' instead of ikan bilis..wow..The nasi lemak did live up to its name. The rice was fluffy and not too rich. And perhaps the secret to the nasi lemak was the chilli. Yummy..

We picked up addie from bedok mrt and headed down to the bedok Bah Chor mee store, only to realise that it opens at night! Geez..we were so disappointed.sigh.

we decided that lunch was gonna be at the bedok interchange hawker center. We tried the chee kweh and mutton soup..both of which wasn't too great. I guess the highlight of the meal was the 'hollywood' store's ice kachang and chendol. Addie and jialin told us that the secret to the super yummy red bean was using redbeans from vietnam ! im such a redbean lover..i totally loved it..

The next stop was bedok cheng teng. The cheng teng had a pretty generous portion of ingredients. However, i feel that the ice cubes kinda spoilt it..Shaved ice would have been much nicer. I guess i'd still prefer the common wealth market cheng teng that i grew up eating.

For tea, we headed down to canele and the pattisier at mohamed sultan! ok..that was REALLY the highlight of the food trail for me...At canele, we had L'amore and a Royale or smth like that...oh my gosh..i LOVE DESSERTS! i could see the chefs at work in the kitchen behind those glass windows..i really wanna work there...i think i could just quit school...

We sat by the benches at keppel club while we ate the pastries from the pattisier. Great relaxing afternoon...geezzz...

We waited eagerly outside peramakan for it to open....too much time to spare...DAMN! we should have gotten our nails done while waiting!!

for dinner, we ordered ikan pangkat( smth like that), beef rendang, cheh hu and sambal kangkong! we shared a durian chendol too! We were probably too excited abt eating that we forgot to take pictures.hahaha.....

DURIAN!!!!

2007-09-13T00:14:00.000+08:00

Today i met john for lunch at thai express! yay! its been months since i met up with john...he's always SO BUSY..geez..The two hours we had together was Great nonetheless!! John's a wonderful guy!! Ruiying you are a lucky girl!!! Good old john...he always puts things into perspective..and he's never biased =)

i met my cousin tricia after that. We had a short chat at new asia bar. haiyah..guys are SERIOUSLY such JERKS and ASSES

i met jialin and addie for dinner at sakuraya fish market at pasir panjang. We had salmon and swordfish sashimi, seaweed salad, saba fish, kaisen maki. YUMMYYY... after that we headed to the durian stall near demsey for DURIAN!! it was pretty good! but im sure we got cheated..it was like 3 durians for 50 bucks! thats really crazy...im sure we can get better food somewhere else!

I sent both jialin and addie back after durian ( addie bought 2 durians back for her family! ) and we had quite an interesting conversation =)

Our next date will be a food trail!!! we'll be going to all the good food places in singapore! yummmyy!! and im gonna cook for them on thursday! im so so excited abt the desserts! but im still kinda undecided..bah....

more baking!!

2007-09-10T00:32:00.000+08:00

this weekend i made lemon meringue tart! oh my gosh..its like out of the world! i made the lemon curd on saturday and the tart and the meringue on sunday night =)

i think i should have made the curd and the tart on saturday though..geezz..but it was GOOD! like the meringue was so light..and not too sweet...and it totally complemented the tangy lemon curd.plus the tart base was crisps and light toO! instead of making 1 whole huge tart i made like tartlets =)

jialin and her collegue yi ming said the tarts are really good! good enough to be served in a restaurant. The lemon curd is tangy but not too sour and the meringue is so light and fluffy!! yay! Father leslie said it looked really professionally baked =)
oh! and i Got a hair cut today! went to my mom's hairdresser isaac at the salon protrim. i must say he's pretty good..coz i kinda like my new hairstyle =) i have a phobia of cutting my hair..im so afraid it'll screw up and i'll have to live with a bad hair cut for like the next few months..geez..i even get night mares abt cutting my hair....but im happy with my new hair cut! haha....ok..im nuts..seriously

oh ya..thanks jervis for lending me your camera! now i can take pictures for the next few days till my dad returns!

Baking frenzY!

2007-09-08T15:37:00.000+08:00

Gosh don't i just LOVE the holidays..

this week i've been baking like crazy! im on a BAKING FRENZY!

on sunday i baked japanese cheese cake and biscotti!

i wanted to bake a chocolate cake for jialin for her birthday..but we were goin to PS cafe.and i figured that we HAVE to try the dessert there. so i decided to make ........MACAROONS!

I spent thursday and friday baking macaroons. Jialin's lil' birthday box had coffee, hazelnut and dark chocolate macaroons! yummy! i had SO MUCH FUN making the macaroons..although the results are not very consistent..and the dark choclate ones are kinda flat..bah..but the dark chocolate filling totally made up for the flat macarrons! the coffee ones had the perfect texture before baking..but i think i din't bke them for long enough and they turned out kinda sticky and wet..yucks..

I had a house salad a P.S cafe..it was a huge portion. We shared a platter of breads and dips =) Dessert was a sticky date pudding with toffee sauce shared by 3 of us.

We headed down to Oosh! at about 1030 and had a ordered a bottle or wolf blass red label riesling to share. Jialin's collegue Yiming came down too!

Gosh! i LOVE girls night out!! ( ok..we just pretended that Yiming was a girl ) haha.. we were talking abt how girls have short shelf lives compared to guys..and how RETARDED some guys are..It seems like a short while ago that we were in JC and now...WE ARE 22!! gosh.. how time flies..Next thing you know..we'll be getting married ( if we DO find the right guy).. AAAHHH!!! this is too much for me to take!

i had so much fun tonight! The next restaurant on the list is probably sakuriya fish market =) I LOVE YOU GIRLS!!

wanted to take pictures..but i can't seem to find the battery charger for the camera! my dad's not in town and he can't remember where he put it! oh no...looks like there won't be many pictures on my blog till he returns.blah..

LAST DAY OF SCHOOL!!!

2007-08-31T09:12:00.000+08:00

oh my gosh..today is the last day of school for this term!! yipppeeee!!!

this week has been a very stressful week. gosh! i had to rush to finish setting up teeth for my grandpa's denture. There were 2 tests this week ( complete dentures test and operative dentistry test). Gosh..i took probably a total of 11 hours to finish my grandpa's trial dentures! on thursday afternoon, i thought i couldn't finish the denture. and my senior weiqiang ( who has come back to the faculty to teach) helped me with all the final touching up and positioning. He's my saviour!!! Gosh..im so touched!! he's so nice!! its like the nicest thing anyone has done for me in a long long time! He totally made my day!

THANKFULLY..during the clinical try-in session..the denture fit PERFECTLY! yipppeeee!! So i dint have to do extra work. i had spent several extra hours beautifying the trial denture and i had to send it into the lab to get it invested ( convert it from wax to plastic). HOWEVER..i couldn't find Prof keng! in fact, i missed him by 3 mins! ( joanne caught hold of him 3 minsutes before i attemped to look for him)
prof keng is an ELUSIVE MAN! he's always disappearing ..whenever i see him i feel like running after him to make sure he doesn't run away and disappear again! sigh.i guess i have to go back to look for him to get the trial denture signed. bah

i am SO GLAD that the term is finally over ..its been a long stressful term! holidays..here i come!!!!!

First denture issued!

2007-08-22T15:31:00.000+08:00

On monday i issued the First denture ever to my patient..hahaha..its one down to partial denture patient competency test.. oh ya..if u are wondering..in dental school, we have to take certain competency tests for different disciplinaries before we can take the final year exam. And there are certain requirements and cases we need to complete before we can taking the competency test.

so for partial dentures we need to complete 2 cases before i can take competency. im one done!!

On thursday i took my periodontology ( disciplinaries that deal with gum problems) examination and diagnosis competency test. My brother was my patient. 1 hour before my test i was freaking out and reading up abt the possible questions that i could possibly be asked. For my brother's case it was mainly on orthodontics ( braces) and the way my brother's teeth are positioned ( he has anterior open bite).

everything went well...except for a few screw ups. I stained my brother's teeth with a pink solution to exposure the areas of teeth with plaque ( to take plaque score) before checking his bleeding score ( which indicates inflammation in the gums). i was panicking like crazy!!

i also left out an ulcer in the floor of the mouth..bah..

FORTUNATELY..my charting for my brother's bleeding score ( bleeding score is an indication of amount of inflammation and thus the severity of his gum disease) was pretty accurate ( dr teo said it was abt 90% accurate!)

my learning issues that i have to do a presentation on are

1. anterior open bite

2. Causes of ulcers and importance of detecting ulcers in floor of mouth

I also bought 4 text books!! one for complete dentures, one for local anaesthetic, one for orthodontics and oxford handbook of clinical medicine. yipppeee!!!! im so happy.now i m TOTALLY motivated to study..hahah..

On friday, i went shopping with my mommy! i bought 2 dresses from isetan. they were a great bargain! yippee! i've decided that i should just buy more dresses..its much easier to match..compared to matching tops and skirts/pants.

i spent most of saturday just SLEEPING..im so sleep deprived..i could just sleep and sleep and sleep and sleep and never wake up

i FINALLY went jogging on sunday with jervis! haha..we ran pass a house along the running route where there was a garage sale. I bought 2 dresses!! yippee!! and a black guess bag =)

its the last week of school! i hope it passes by REALLY quickly..im so tired and drained from the 8 weeks of school...can't wait for the hols to start

STRESS

2007-08-16T08:26:00.000+08:00

Wednesday
was one of the MOST STRESSFUL DAYS OF DENTAL SCHOOL SO FAR

i had to rush my record block for my complete denture patient...and i have to finish investing, packing and polishing a denture for my other denture patient!! i really was SO SO STRESSED...

i could have sent the denture to the lab to be invested ( which means using plaster t make a negative mould of trial denture in wax) but it require 5 working days! and after that i still have to polish and trim the denture..i don't think i'll have the luxury of time for that considering that my patient is coming on monday!!! gosh...

IN the end..i had to invest and pack and polish the denture myself..and i managed to rush all of them in 2 days. AMAZING. well..of course i had to sacrifice my lunch and several hours after school ...bah...

im SO GLAD i've got them now.. Now i can procede to setting up teeth for my grandpa's denture =)

i realy hope school doesn't get more stressful than this..i really need to have more time for planning my sch work.lab work and clnics..its killing me

Thursday and friday were spent rushing my patient's denture in the lab..pretty uneventful i must say...

on saturday i attended Joy's birthday party at scarlet hotel. its a hotel near the china town area and it has a pretty cool design and theme...the food and service there is pretty neat! im impressed...

i spent the most of sunday sleeping...i was supposed to go running...but unfortunately ( or maybe fortunately) for the rain..i just slept the whole day...great...i really need to loose weigh..and at the same time i really need to sleep!! im sleep deprived!!

and i need to cut my hair...geez...its been too long..but i have a phobia of getting a haircut
geez....just need to by psyched up enough and pluck up enough courage i guess.

Love is patient
Love is kind
More importantly, love isn't selfish.

it is easy being selfish, wanting someone to yourself.
yet if you love, you'd never wanna put him through any pain or hurt
You'd rather bear the pain alone, knowing he'd be happier without you.

perhaps no one can understand
love so profound
love so painful

The love i know, sets one free.
Free from pain, free from hurt, free from worries.
All the pain hurt and worries i'd bear on my shoulders.
In exchange for his happiness

Reflections

2007-08-12T19:13:00.000+08:00

This weekend was spent on retreat
Its been the most beautiful and meaningful weekend in a longest time

i Realised i've been so so blessed..
Ironic as it seems..its in the most troubled times that im most blessed, where God is closest to me ..
God Is so real to me..i know its hard to believe..its hard to really hear Him speak to me..but i know He's there..

Its SO hard to explain the passion, the love...
i really hope that i'll be able to share this experience, this love, this passion..with The One that i love.....For that would bring Love into true perfection.

The communion hymn this weekend was 'my greatest love is you' by hillsongs..it just brought tears to my eyes..

Everything that happened this weekend made me believe again that there True love really does exist...True, unselfish,unconditional love. love that is patient, love that is kind. love that endures and lasts forever.

I wish this weekend will never have to end...

My Greatest Love is You

Every new day your glory unfolds
Filling my eyes with your treasures untold
The beauty of holiness brings worship anew
My greatest love is You

Call me deeeper into your grace
The river that flows from the holy place.
Wash over me, cleansing me through,
My greatest love is you.

will a kind soul return my phone??

2007-08-09T23:03:00.000+08:00

i lost my phone..yes you heard it. I LOST MY PHONE..

In my haste to pack up to send my mom home after scaling her teeth...my phone disappeared..i suspect i may have either left it in the washroom outside clinic 2..or maybe misplaced it somewhere.but its GONE..and its my new n80 that my dad just bought for me earlier this year..

i cant' believe it.i've never lost my phone before..NEVER...and Don't tell me there's always a first time for everything..argh. i rampaged clinic 2, all the soiled lab coats, the washroom, the records room..EVERYWHERE but its still no where to be found. And it doesn't help that i realised it was lost like within the first 30 mins of loosing my phone..

i am SO FRUSTRATED..hopefully on friday some kind soul returns the phone to me ..im pretty sure i lost it in sch..so i'll go and search for it AGAIN..

Return of my sanity

2007-08-05T22:42:00.000+08:00

ANYONE WANS TO BUY A PURPLE TOP SHOP SIZE 6 BIKINI?? my class mates bought it for me but its too small! The price is negotiable! definitely less than $75

its new with tags on!

Father leslie is back!! i FINALLY got back my sanity..haha...all the complaining and blurting out random rubbish sessions we have ALWAYS keeps me sane..He's been gone for 2 months..maybe thats why the last 2 months my life's been crazy. im so hapPY!!!! yipppeeeeee!!!

i couldn't take it any more. I went running on saturday. i ran 5 km! im so proud of myself..( although i ran SO so slowly) and i went swimming for 30 mins too! and today ( sunday) i din eat tha tmuch except for dinner. Breakfast i had 1 papaya and some porridge. Lunch i had 1 green organic apple. Dinner i had half a slice of bread with tofu patties and 1 portobello mushroom. I snacked on some dessert..1 bengawan solo kueh and some durian cake.. ok..i hope that wasn't too much..acttually i just hope that i burnt more today den i consumed.

i cooked today! i made tofu burger with portobello mushroom! yummy!! haha..the tofu patty actually tasted kinda like..chicken! I felt the patty was kinda blend though. could do with more flavouring and sauce.

Next week im gonna bake smth..maybe molten chocolate cakes =)

HUNGGGRRRRYYY

2007-08-03T17:22:00.001+08:00

i have no idea why..im just STARVING TODAY.i had so much for lunch.went to the new MEGABITES cafe at science canteen...
Gosh.i haven't been there for ages..me and pris were remeniscing abt how we just to go to science every week for like lessons..and since the start of special term..we've hardly been to science(except for the times we had to photocopy books and go to the medicine library). THose were the days.

Now that im 22yrs and 4 days...i feel SO OLD..i. feel so much more lethargic than before. All that energy and zeal abt life is just slipping away with every day. And not to mention..i highly suspect my metabolic rate is dropping..im just getting FAT. oh my gosh..despite my attempts to exercise ( well.if u consider swimming once a week as exercising). I dun even think i eat that much..and im just getting fat.. gosh..One OBVIOUS sign would that im just unable to fit into my favourite size 26 levis jeans any more! gosh..

The fact that im hungry virutally all the time just exacerbates matters. i had like an apple and pumpkin cake for breakfast. And Pan fried salmon with soup for lunch. and i was STILL hungry. and now im having wasabi peas and aloe vera dessert as im writing this. geez...i need to stop eating!

Im gonna try to do something abt my increase waist line instead of inccessantly complaining. ..this weekend im gonna run and swim! haha..the revival of my patella band that's been stored in my drawer for ages. My knee hasn't been in the greatest condition..hence the switch to swimming.But i figured that swimming REALLY broadens my shoulders ..and it makes me look fat..ok. in short it just makes me look BIGGER.Damn.. another avenue less for loosing weight.

non happy birthday to me

2007-08-01T08:56:00.000+08:00

'happy birthday' -- a greeting i received from many thru out the day.

A birthday is supposed to be happy. Its a day where u celebrate someone's life, a day to give thanks for all the blessings received.

yet today was far from the aforementioned

Please don't tell me you care abt me..if all i ask for is for today to be special. over reactions, anger, hurt, guilt, confusion,frustration....in short, pandora's box was let loose.

wats the point of having celebrations leading up to my birthday when the actual day was just totally ruined?the pre-birthday celebrations were just totally nullified

I belong to God, i belong to myself. i am NOT anyone's property.

But i must give credit to my frens. Thanks guys..for remembering this day, for trying to make my day. thanks pris, waiseng and guoan, for the bikini, zhiyin and ronglin for the dior pretty charm lipgloss, mario for the card, grace for the abercrombie bag, wei cheng for the japanese wine. THanks guys..wat would i do without all of u..

Thank you. for making the last 30 mins of my day worthwhile. thanks for understanding how i feel ..before i can even put them in words..thanks for understanding when i felt no one could.

brithday surprise!

2007-07-29T01:59:00.000+08:00

Today i got my nails painted! And my eye lashes permed..haha..i ought to pamper myself during this birthday weekend! haha

Kendrew took me out to dinner at 1 rochester..which was supposed to be a 'surprise' birthday dinner in disguise..haha..pris, waiseng, guoan, tim and grace were all..

me, grace and tim

i don't know if i shold call it a surprise...coz he asked me few weeks ago if i wanted a celebration with my frens..and i politely declined.so hmm..idon't know i should be surprised..it was really sweet anyways!

we were in the garden of 1 rochester. Ordered quite a bit of food. italian greens, duck confit, mushroom gems.. yummmyy..

we had 2 bottles of wine. one was a pinot noir and another was late harvest wine. They were both just awesome! The pinot noir was light bodied and fruity. Even pris who usually doesn't drink wine said it was nice! the late harvest wine had a touch of butter scotch . It was a sweet dessert wine.

Grace gave me an abercrombie bag!! haha.pris and waiseng and guoan bought me a bikini from top shop..which was..kinda too small.coz waiseng told pris " alexia is the same size as u but just taller'..hahaha...i should feel..comforted..that he thought i was a slim as pris when in fact i think im 1 or 2 size bigger than her! but thanks guys !!

waiseng, pris me and guoan

me and pris!!

Special thanks to kendrew..who arranged all this and made my night special and memorable

The choice of nothingness

2007-07-28T14:52:00.000+08:00

feelings unfold
emotions were high
a night so beautiful
its almost surreal

reluctantly i step back into reality
reality so harsh, reality so cold
my bubble is burst
Burst by the needle of logic and practicalities

Will u redeem me fr this plight
will u set me free from the chains of cynicism, doubt and fear?

perhaps i am but a pawn in ur sight,
i am nothing but a myofibril of ur heart

the mind attempts relentlessly to conquer
Yet i fall victim to the slavery of overpowering unexplainable emotions.

Happy birthday kendrew!

2007-07-23T23:36:00.000+08:00

today is kendrew's birthday! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Dinner was at The Cliff at Beaufort hotel in sentosa.

The sky looked threatening as we were parking the car. it may have been a blessing in disguise since it was al fresco dining..and the lil' drizzle really cooled down the weather ALOT. It was kinda chilly for me though

appetizer was Shaved green asparagus with tomato confit, mascarpone, parmesan crisp and balsamic glaze. The tower of mixed vegetables on a water cracker was such a delectable combination. The crisps asparagus complimented the slightly sweet tomato and creamy mascarpone. wow....

I ordered char grilled yellow fin tuna with wild mushroom, baby spinach and ratte potato ragout with sauce bordelaise. The Tuna steak was medium rare and was really tender. I love the woody flavour of the mushrooms chunks!

Kendrew ordered oven baked black cod, broccoli puree, pancetta bacon, brocolli stem ragout with candied shallots. The Cod was crispy and golden brown on the outside and moist, flaky with a slight creamy tinge inside. The brocolli purree was so good! it was creamy and it din even taste like brocolli at all!

The best part is always the dessert! It was a platter of 4 types ofesserts
sticky date pudding soffle, date braised in toffee sauce and roasted apple beignet. THe soffle was SO SO SO GOOD! im gonna try to make it..

We ordered 2 glasses of wine. 1 red j.moreau n fils chabilis 2005 chabilis france and 1 glass of tree house pinot noir 2003 pemberton australia

The ambience at the Cliff was pretty unique compared to other restaurants. There was a panoramic view of the sea and horizon as well as alot of greenery surrounding one side of the restaurant. The other side is a pool side view.

Lazy weekend

2007-07-23T01:26:00.000+08:00

I woke up at 12pm on saturday! haha..i was SO TIRED geeezzz

Met jervis at taka and i had my favourite papaya salad from the vietnamese food stall..

my evening was spent at cafe del mar with kelvin..just chilling and doing nothing...i love just relaxing and talking abt everything and anything.. Kendrew was supposed to join us..but he went for some alumni dinner and apparently he had 10 pieces of steak! ( hmm ..i dun see how that is quite possible..)Indeed he ate ALOT..we could see his tummy sticking out after that! haha

I FINALLY went for choir prac on sunday..i've been skipping it and procrastinating for SO MANY WEEKS....I miss grace!!! haven't talked to her for ages!! I MISS U BABE!!! i think i really should go for choir prac regularly..i need to develop some kinda routine to my presently messy life
I studied and swam at keppel. Sitting by the sea and enjoying the breeze as i try to study..just kinda blows all that stress away. i just love the wind in my face and messing up my hair..everything seems so casual..so relaxed..i should do this more often =)

In a labryinth my being is trapped
An emotion whirlpool wrenches my heart

Where shall i run to?
to whom shall i seek?

A million question cloud my mind relentlessly
Yet no answers do i find

Tormented and disraught i trudge thru each day,

Care and affection are showered upon me
But only loneliness and anguish do i feel

I wanna run to you
Why must ur presence be shortlived
Why is my joy temporal
Do you even know i care?

Brewerkz

2007-07-21T01:13:00.000+08:00

today was kendrew's birthday celebration at brewerkz. It was a crazy night. His frens were REALLy quite fun and they were all getting drunk and making a scene..geeezz..

He ordered 5 towers of beer! haha..i think the golden one and the raspberry one is good! i don't really fancy beer..but oh wells =)

Kendrew's chocolate banana cake has 'lets get wasted' piped on it.. haha..indeed, they did get wasted! kelvin smashed cake ALL OVER kendrew's face..and kendrew smashed it back on his face.GOSH..it got all over kelvin's white t shirt..looked as though he got into a fight!

Kendrew and his fren were tryingt to make mark and his girlfriend french in front of everyone..It took them almost an hour coaxing them. And even after kendrew and his fren kissed ( SERIOUSLY THEY KISSED LIP TO LIP..but im pretty sure there was a thumb in between .haha), Mark and his girfriend just REFUSED to kiss..haha...guess they are really just quite shy =)

We headed down to MOS at abt 1am . i've never really been to MOS before. It was alright..nothing that fantastic. lionel and Kelvin were picking up girls haha..they seem pretty smmmoooooootttthh heh..haha.great job guys

CARE

2007-07-18T01:19:00.001+08:00

i absolutely HATE mondays..bleah..although today is tuesday...

schoool was so so sian..in the morning i had internal medicine lecture on respiratory examination ( TB, pneumonia, asthma, pleural effusion.....) followed by bed side tutorial where we examined a patient suspected with TB...we had to wear N95 masks

Went for this charity dinner thingy. Its aunty Lan's charity's (CARE) 10th anniversary celebration. THe event was held at Hyatt hotel. my brother and 2 of his frens performed. The food was quite good!!!i love the mango with sago and pomelo and aloe vera.. i wanna learn how to make it!

Ooosh!

2007-07-16T11:25:00.000+08:00

im such a pig. i failed to wake up in time for 8.15 am mass AGAIN. i should really start sleeping and waking up early!

i was my brother's chauffeur today. i sent him to chinese tution at 2.30, then picked him up then sent him for math tution at 5. wanted to get some studying done..but i failed..bah..just ended up eating and eating and eating. i had this aloe vera honey lemon drink at this small stall at united square called yoshiden. Also had a pear and almond dessert thingy. was really gd!!

I had dinner at Oosh! at dempsy. Went to the Yen dining japanese restaurant. The ambience is really good. Had this beef thingy and miso cod fish. SO GOOD! i ordered a salmon and salmon roe hand roll..its tasted kinda..funny..there's so much egg juice oozing out when i bite on the salmon roe..weird!

The Yuzu sherbet is really gd! and so is the umeshu (japanese plum wine).Its simply out of this world!

birthday wish list

2007-07-16T11:12:00.000+08:00

1. white tod's bag ( tod's peggy east/west bag)
2. diamond earrings / ring fr lee hwa or sookee jewellery shared by a group of frens preferrably solitaire =)
3. kate spade bag
4. Dior make up ( dior addict ultra shine pearl shine collection lip gloss!! or dior addict ultra gloss! mascara, waterproof, non smudging eye liner)
5. clothes!!!
6. kATE spade pink leather organizer
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&ih=005&sspagename=STRK%3AMEWA%3AIT&viewitem=&item=150143677087&rd=1&rd=1
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&ih=012&sspagename=STRK%3AMEWA%3AIT&viewitem=&item=220132403185&rd=1&rd=1
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&ih=008&sspagename=STRK%3AMEWA%3AIT&viewitem=&item=180142069050&rd=1&rd=1
7. New digi cam ( preferably in pink or red)
8. New bikini !

Sharksfin!

2007-07-15T05:55:00.001+08:00

i swam this morning after much procrastination. The sun was just awesome! i need to loose weight..i seriously do.im just getting fat and i can't stand it..i feel it in my blood

Lunch was with kendrew at palaise renaissance. we were supposd to eat at les a mis ( i think thats how u spell it) but there was a dress code..so..oh well..another time. we ate at marrmalade pantry and i had my usual pan seared tuna nicoise. Yummy.i love the half cooked tuna. Dessert was my favourite red bean green tea ice cream from haarto.

I"M SO SAD! i went back to borders to day to buy the i pod cover..but its ALL GONE!!!!!! oh my gosh..im realy so sad..it happened to me again!!!

today's my Godma and my youngest bro's birthday celebration at thai village sharks fin restaurant. the sharksfin was just out of the world. iTs chunky and yummy! gosh. you can literally taste the sharksfin . nothing close to the normal sharks fin soup where the sharkfin is shredded.

We played Mah jong! i met Rui ying for the first time after SO MANY YEARS! john!!! u never introduce us! SO MEAN..haha..She's such a nice girl..no wonder john is so in love with her!

initally, i kept loosing..after we moved the mah jong table into the house and after a few rounds, i started winnning! i won like 5 doubles in one of the winningS! overall i won 3.60. haha. ok..at least i din make a loss. oh ya! i baked apple crisps for john ruiying and jervis. we had that witha haagen daaz macadamia nut ice cream! gosh..mah jong is so fun. i wanna play again sooN!!!

The dawn is breaking

A light shining through

You're barely waking

And I'm tangled up in you

Yeah

I'm open, you're closed

Where I follow, you'll go

I worry I won't see your face

Light up again

Even the best fall down sometimes

Even the wrong words seem to rhyme

Out of the doubt that fills my mind

I somehow findYou and I collide

I'm quiet you know

You make a frist impression

I've found I'm scared to know I'm always on your mind

Even the best fall down sometimes

Even the stars refuse to shine

Out of the back you fall in time

I somehow findYou and I collide

Even the best fall down sometimes

Even the wrong words seem to ryhme

Out of the doubt that fills your mind

You finally find

You and I collide

wires wires and more wires ....

2007-07-14T07:45:00.001+08:00

can u believe it. i spent the WHOLE night bending orthodontic wires. till 4 am..OMG. i was so tired in schi was sleeping in PBL. it was so embarrassing..coz dr victor ho kept asking me questions and i was just nodding away

Thank goodness i got all my projects for ortho. signed.at least the staying up wasn't wasted.

i went for a swim today! im so proud of myself! the sun was SO GOOD. It feels greating finally getting some sun! on normal school days i hardly see the sun.by the time i get out of sch its pretty much dark and in the evening. bah.

Today is IAn's birthday! we went to crystal jade la mian xiaolong bao and we ordered SO MUCH FOOD! oh my gosh..but the food was go good. we tried this mushroom pastry thing. WOW its really nice..yuummmmyyyy

went for bbq night at sentosa. Its part of dentistry tradition where the seniors go down to get to know ( ok..actually to rag) the freshies. Its part of the freshmen orientation camp. I was so tired..and din't relaly talk much to the juniors..probably the anti social side of me.

Tomorrow john and ruiying and jervis will be playing mah jong at my housE! im so excited! im gonna bake for them!!!!

Because jellyfish eats jelly

2007-07-13T00:30:00.000+08:00

ok..i FINALLY have pictures =)

today we had endo test. i wrote a WHOLE LOT OF RUBBISH..but i think i got the diagnosis wrong..i i thought there was a radiolucency and thus periapical lesion on the premolar(#44) WHEN I THNK THERE ACTUALLY WAS NONe! ok..im just retarded

went for DHP field trip to kuo chuan primary sch and RI..we had to observe the primary school and secondary sch dental service..it was quite..interesting..like how dental therapist do most of the teeth cleaning and some fillings and all..and the system that's implemented..hmmm...

Ok...Leonardo( my lab buddy) is DAMN RETARDED. i told him abt how when i was young i used to go to changi beach club . THere was this occasion where i caught a jelly fish. i put it in a pail and brought home another pail of sea water to ensure it doesn't die. but it still did in like 1 day. so guess wat he said " coz you din feed it jelly"

Dinner was with prof lim lum peng. she's my academic mentor in dentistry..she is SO NICE! She's malaysian and has been in NUS for the past 13 years. Previously, she worked in hongkong. She's a periodontist. we had dinner at The stamford at NUS guild house. the mushroom soup was awesome. Those in my gorup who had the set menu had dessert buffet included! they helped the rest of us take lotsa biscuits, marshmellows and fruits for chocolate fondue! yummmmyyyy

i met john and jervis at vivo. i gave john the tie i bought for him fr japan and he LOVED IT! im so happpY!! haha...Jervis ! i know u are jealous that the tie i got for john is so nice. thats why u said i can't give it to him! ( jervis said that i can't give john a tie coz rui ying wont be happy. apparently Giving a guy a tie means u wanna tie him down..)

i have no life!

2007-07-08T23:04:00.000+08:00

Anyone knows someone selling a mazda 3?? preferrably 1 or 2 years old.. I WANNA BUY! its the car me and my bro have decided on. PLEASE CALL OR EMAIL OR MSN ME!!!!

Gosh..idunno why...but today i suddenly exclaimed: I HAVE NO LIFE.. i really think i don't..going to school and all..leaves me with hardly any time to meet up with my frens. And i totally hate that. Im so exhausted..so so exhausted..everyday i just wanna sleep and sleep and sleep....

This week's normal sch term ( NO MORE OMS POSTING!) argh

i saw my grandpa as my full denture patient . Gosh..it was an overwhelming experience..like how he used to take care of me and carry me when i was young..and now im taking care of him and his dentures..wow..i wanted to take a picture with him on the dental chair..but my lab partner leonardo said i was retarded....i know i know... a retard i always am...

i can't finish studying for my endo test! i wanna sleep but i can't..and i can't study ..its frustrating...

i haven't posten pictures for so long..geez..my blog looks WEIRD without photos..im so gonna take pictures tmr when im out with dinner with my mentor.

im in dire need of sleep..HELP!

oh my sore throat has FINALLY resolved..geez..the wonders of external salivary enzymes...And NO ITS NOT WAT U THINK....its bird's nest! ( courteousy of kendrew) Bird's nests made by his mom, aunty irene is really the ultimate..gosh.. on hindsight..i should have taken a picture of it..hmmm...

tiiiirrrrreeeeddd

2007-07-08T00:37:00.000+08:00

im so super tired these few days..i wish i could just sleep..and sleep and sleep

I think there's this SUPERBUG that's infecting my throat..causing me to have a persistent sore throat that's killing me. I think this super bug is resistant to like alot of the anti biotics that i took this year. ( FYI i took anti biotics like 4 times in 6 months) GOSH...its killing me..i've had this sore throat ever since i was in japan

Today i got the Thai express orange card. figured it was pretty worth it since i always eat there. you pay $20 for vouchers worth $25 and other discounts! yipppeee

Was supposed to play tennis with wei cheng, kelvin and kendrew this morning..BUT it was raining cats and dogs. So disappointing..i was so psyched up to play tennis

Had to be at an aesthetic dentistry thingy today. I bought whitening gel. i figured my teeth are too yellow...at least fr the perspective of a dentist...like if i wanna encourage my future patients to use whitening stuff and all..i must have white teeth and must have tried out the products right? hopefully i can get A1 shadefor my teeth after whitening.

Lunch with with kelvin at coffee club at holland v. i had this portabello mushroom, pesto and parmasan frittata. Its quite interesting..its like an omellete with ALOT of mushrooms..yummy. also had my favourite tomato soup. It was pretty fun lunching with kelvin.. we were talking so much rubbish..interesting rubbish though.

I play tennis with jervis in the evening. GOSH..i relaly need to practice more. I'm so lousy..geezz..where did all that training go to heh?? i think im gonna pick up golf soon.

We had dinner at thai express. i ordered the chiang mai mango salad. Its SO GOOD .. i think its better than the normal mango salad.

Ok..i've no photos to post..coz my bro borrowed my camera. GEEZ. i wan my camera back. i feel so sad without it..sigh

EXTRACTIONS!

2007-07-05T22:59:00.000+08:00

i did 2 extractions today =) wow..im so proud of myself..im not scared of doing extractions! haha..actually..saying that im not scared would be a lie..im not scared scared..im just scared of hurting the patient..like initially i'd be a bit scared to move the tooth coz im scared it'll be scary for the patient..but i'[ve realised..that they don't feel anything..except the pressure..

In fact. i think using more controlled force and getting the teeth out faster would lessen their misery!

i've yet to feel confident extracting using an elevator..especially elevating 3rd molars ( wisdom tooth)

Another point to add..i've always been kinda cautious ( NOT SCARED OK!) of giving my patients local anaesthetic. so i'll keep asking them if its painful..THANKFULLY>.they always say its not painful..they say they can't feel a thing..WOW..ok..im so proud of myself....to think i've always been kinda scared of needles..haha..

GREAT! i'm one step nearer to practicing PAINLESS dentistry!

Open my eyes Lord,

open my heart.

To see You in the storm,

To feel You lift me high.

Fill me with your wisdom

Fill me with Strength

So i may Glorify your name,

So i can testify your love.

Everything went wrong

2007-07-05T00:27:00.000+08:00

A day of frustrations, a day of pain
Filled with hurt, its just insane
Where were u when i needed u most?

No matter where i run i only find,
no one can heal and fill this heart of mine
i thought u understood me most?

Empty and lonely i shall stay
until a little sunshine comes my way
Sunshine and rainbows i need most.

lab lab lab lab lab lab lab......................

2007-07-03T23:35:00.000+08:00

First things first! i need to make an announcement

Any one wants their wisdom teeth removed, or any teeth extracted please contact me ASAP. alexiapple@gmail.com....or gimme a buzz if u have my number! i need patients for OMS posting this week and this week only!! and dun worry..you won't be my guinea pig. There'll be a specialist doing the job..and i'll be assisting..and doing..maybe some of the minor stuff

Any one that needs dental treatment or anyone who knows pple who need dental treatment ( i.e: fillings, have bleeding gums or dentures) please call me!

It is 100% safe because i'm under supervision from my profs and its really cheap ( one filling for 7 bucks?)

Today i spent the WHOLE day in lab. There was Orthodontics technique and fixed prosthodontics technique.

Bending wires are SO DIFFICULT... second thoughts abt doing ortho post grad ( like i can even get in...ha ha)

i spent the WHOLE Day in the lab. like even lunch..coz i had to finish my RP ( removable prosthodontics i.e denture) work. Sigh..repairing dentures..i totally hate making dentures.BAH

As of now.i think surgery is stil the best. incision, raising a flap, suturing..bla bla bla..beats drilling and filling ANYTIME

Today me and pris wore the same top to school( but different color) ! we bought it together from isetan ..haha. great minds think alike =)

i swam after school at keppel and i met cherie and her bf!!! GOSH I HAVEN"T SEEN IN HER AGES!! she just graduated and will be staring work in hongkong..lucky girl. i can't wait to graduate

Dinner was with my family and kelli's family ( kelli is my dad's boss' daughter) at jade palace at keppel. We had a la carte buffet and we ordered SO MUCH FOOD. let me see..there was, sashimi, sharks fin soup, roasted chicken, peking duck, ee fu noodles, fresh poached prawn, prawn with dried chilli, black pepper beef, steamed sea bass chilli crab, home made tofu with mushrooms, spinach with assorted eggs, century eggs with ginger, steamed tofu with scallop. for dessert there was mango pudding, double boiled aloe vera with red dates and longan, glutinous rice ball with peanuts, herbal jelly, cream of red bean with lotus seed.

im STUFFED geezz....

kelli's family said " now we realise the chinese food back in the states is SO BAD" hahahha..but i think they weren't accustomed to certain foods like century egg. And they weren't used to eating prawns with the head on and with fish being served with the head on. Kelli and her mom were daring each other to try out the different kinds of food.

Here's a pic of kelli and her mom trying out century egg with ginger

First day being a yr 3

2007-07-02T20:03:00.000+08:00

Today is my first day of sch.im officially a yr 3.Bah.

i was super sian going to school..couldn't get up..parents left the house without me, couldn't get a cab..sigh..

Thankfully.i realised this week me and my lab partner leonardo are on OMS postinG! ( Oral and maxillofacial surgery)

I did my first ever extraction today. WOW..it was quite an experience..wasn't as scary as i imagined..infact i wasn't scared at all..i used to think i would be.

Gave my first inferior dental nerve block.

Did my first 2 stitches for a surgery.

WOW..i love this..surgery and OMS is so fun...i think i'd be happier doing this than stupid lab work and fixed prosthodontics ( crown and bridges). By the way..i dun really fancy fixed prostho.

And not to mention Dr Ho kok sen was taking us today. He's SO GOOD..i really admire him. Like his bedside manners are really good..and his hands are really steady..plus he's so nice and gentle...

he makes me feel so..inspired..

I can't wait to graduate..i hate dental school..,i love clinical work..but i hate managing patients( the way NUS expects us to manage them with the limited time and time slots )and doing admin work ( chasing for signatures, getting every thing signed and authenticated). its really such a CHORE and totally makes me dislike sch. And not to mention LAB WORK..i don't understand why we must do it ourselves. we should have more lab support. Ultimately, everything will be sent to the lab.

Ok..sorry guys no pics today..din bring the camera to school.

Just coz there's a goal keeper doesn't mean u can't score goals

2007-07-01T22:32:00.000+08:00

Saturday

i went for admin day. i pretended to be a freshie and named myself alexandra ( yes..i know no originality) NO ONE BELIEVED i was a freshie...bah..they said..i look too old...gggeeezz..arrrggghhhh

Had lunch with kendrew kelvin and his fren nicholas. guess wat...nicholas is caucasian and he speaks REALLY GOOD chinese. i din't even speak a word to them..because im SO EMBARRASSED of my own chinese..his chinese sounds more chinese than mine..geez..time to buck up..

went to kino with kelvin and kendrew and i bought a cook book again!!! yipppeee!! the muffins and cupcakes look so good. there are even savory ones that i wanna try out.

Had dinner with jervis at crystal jade la mian xiao long bao. i love the vegetable dumpling..oh..FYI i dun eat pork.im innately muslim..i get sick whenever i eat pork..wats wrong with me man

Lord..i pray

that u'd lift me up from these burdens today

my soul yearns for you

But comfort i find are few

Confusion and anguish fill my heart

healing and peace only you can impart.

Please Lord, convict me with spirit and truth

The world's best green tea shaved ice with red bean and ice cream!!!!!!!

2007-06-29T23:51:00.000+08:00

This morning i woke up at 930 and i baked biscotti! BUT...i din have enough vanilla essence and i din add enough sugar...and the biscotti wasn't as nice as it usually was...very disappointed with myself...and my biscotti...i wanna make again..so that it'll be perfect...bah

Rushed to meet my class mates at kushinbo at 1..( was supposed to be there by 12) ..ok im late AS USUAL..

lunch at kushinbo wasn't great..i think there's variety but no quality..and its nothing compared to japan..sigh..sad..i ate really little..should have taken that 27 bucks and go to like swissotel merchant court or smth...bah

Went shopping with pris after that!! but din buy anything...i saw a charles and keith heels...which im considering buying..hmmm

Dinner was at out of the pan..peking duck crepe was GREAT..and mushroom rocket salad..YUMMMY

THE BEST PART IS THE DESSERT.. its shaved ice with green tea syrup and red bean and green tea red bean ice cream...There was 3 layers of red bean..WOW..and the green tea redbean ice cream was SO GOOD...oh mygosh..its out of this world....i can't stop thnking abt it..

i need to buy an organiser..it hink i'll loook at kino organisers first..if i can't find anything..i'll get the coach or kate spade one...sigh

The storm is brewing

the edge is near

to whom do i run to?

where does my solace lie?

i need courage

courage to escape alone

alone into a realm of my own

i need to be the captain of the ship

The ship that sails with only one member

Solitude shall follow me

For in solitude shall the truth be revealed

Torte of sweat and blood

2007-06-28T22:15:00.000+08:00

I woke up at 750am..just couldn't get back to bed. So i decided to start baking the apple cream cheese torte early =)

i had to put together 3 parts of the torte

1. torte crust

2. Cream cheese filling

3. Apple and cinnamon mixture

i had to make the torte crust 3 times!!

first attempt: everything turned out perfectly..except......the whole tart tin fell on the floor just as i was abt to remove it fr the oven.. yes. It SMASHED.

2nd attempt: i had to freeze the butter before hand. While it was freezing i measured out hte flour and sugar. UNFORTUNATELY i mistook the 1/3 cup for the 1/2 cup. And i only realised it when i mixed in the cold water coz the dough was very wet. DAMN.

So i had to make it the 3RD TIME ..so so sian...

meanwhile i had to drain the juices fr the apples, add more sugar and spices to it...

Thankfully..the torte turned out AWESOME. the crust was perfect. The creamy-ness of the cream cheese as well as the lemon zest complimented the crunchy-ness of the apples. Indeed. it was a torte of sweat and blood ( also becoz i cut my finger and was literally bleeding)

I studied with jervis . YES I MANAGE TO START READING MY ENDO TEXTBOOK. i've been failing my tests like crazy..im not gonna fail this one..plus i have fully utilise the torabinajed that i bought. ( and shuldn't have bought coz its all black and white). Thanks jervis!!( for forcing me to sit down to study and not use my laptop to shop online ) hahahahhahah

I made salmon sashimi salad! the salmon was from sakuraya fish market and pasir panjang. It was SO FRESH and only cost $10 for a big slab.Also added in some avocado and japanese cucumber..YUMMMYYYY...oh and of course i added in extra wasabi

And im so proud of myself..i actually FILED all my recipes =) haha..im gonna go to ikea SOON to buy boxes to organize my stuff..i can't stand the mess...feel so irritated with my own mess..bah

overwhelming emotions run through my being

emotions so overwhelmingly complex.

they torment me and plague the essence of being

my souls finds no rest

where is simplicity??

simplicity so beautiful that it will set me free

free from turmoil,free from burdens

Only in you i find confort.

Only in you i seek solace

i want i want i want i want! i want everything!

2007-06-28T01:32:00.000+08:00

i went to sch today for FYP project meeting..so retarded..we were talking rubbish..so much rubbish..but we did manage to come out with a list of things we wanted to research on.im supposed to do the research for cytotoxicity of Denture liners and tissue conditioners on cells i think..hmmm...

Dinner was with kendrew at a crystal jade place.i think its like Hu nan or smth..they had a variety of food fr the different provinces and also includes some la mian and all. There was LOADS of sharks fin and birds nest dishes =)

We had some cold vegetable thingy, la mian with veg and chicken and braised tofu with mushroom and conpoy( dried scallop). The tofu was SO GOOD! its really to die for.Gosh.

After that i went shopping...haha..the start of shopping for my birthday wishlist =)

I saw a Tod's bag ( Tod's peggy east/west bag) that was white..it was going for 1540.Geeezzz but i managed to find it on a website for US$299..oh my gosh.i wanna buy it!!!!!!! ( its the pic on the top left).

i saw a REALLY NICE white kate spade bag ($840) and a pink kate spade organiser($350). Hopefully i can find it online too..for a lower price. i really need a organiser for all my patient stuff and apointments..its driving me NUTS.

Oh and i have a white bag and shoe fetish =)

Next was window shopping at tiffany and Co. i saw an atlas ring with 3 diamonds.. goin for $2280 i think..its Beautiful!!!! oh my gosh..

And i saw my dior lip gloss!! i tried it on today..it was relaly nice..and i wanna get the bobby brown lip gloss. Its limited edition colours in a white case..3 for $89.. hmmmm...worth considering.

I went to charles and keith and bought a white shoe and brown bag( to match my new brown shoe, but i still need to get brown skirt and pants). YIPPPEEEE!! it was a very good buy. plus i had discount card =)

Awkward familiarity,

haunted by painful memories.

Into my own world i yearn to run

A world of solace and comfort, simplicity and being carefree

Dangerous are these emotions;

Emotions so sweet and close to my heart

Emotions that potentially inflict my soul and shatter my being

To You shall i seek.

For You know me through and through

Only You feel the anguish of my soul

You shall comfort me and i shall find rest in You alone

To set aside reliance on riches to live under the economy of God

2007-06-27T01:01:00.000+08:00

" Perhaps what we are being invited to consider today is the difference it can make when people set aside their reliance on riches in order to live under the economy of God. Perhaps we are being invited to continually relax our hold on our possessions so that we might cling more tightly to God; and, in so doing, to find our way to one another."

Perhaps that is my message fr God.

i bought a few songs fr itunes store today. All of which were my favourite hymns that i play in church. courteousy of kendrew.

A lazily beautiful day...i wish days like this will never end. Thank you for always brightening up my life and making me laugh.

O, God you search me

2007-06-25T19:22:00.000+08:00

i slept in..finally

Brunch was with aunty lan, uncle bob, uncle michael, aunty ros. It was supposed to be belated father's day brunch

Jervis tried to teach me abt wordpress..coz i was thinking of migrating there..

Today i got 2 presents! The totally gorgeous Charles and keith shoes that i was searching for and a Dazzling dentist keychain!

At mass, they played one of my favourite psalms

O God, you search me and you know me.

All my thoughts are open to your gaze

When i walk or lie down you are before me

Ever the maker and keeper of my days

You know my resting and my rising

You discern my purpose from afar

And with love everylasting you besiege me

in every moment of life or death you are

Before a word is on my tongue , Lord,

You have known its meaning through and through.

you are with me beyond my understanding;

God of my present my past and future too

Although your Spirit is upon me,

Still i search for shelter from your light

There is no where on earth i can escape you;

Even the darkness is radiant in your sight

For you created me and shaped me

gave me life, within my mother's womb

For the wonder of who i am i praise you

Safe in you hands all creation is made new

The version on spirit and song is so nice. I really wanna buy the song on itunes..but i can't..

its so meaningful, especially the 4th verse.its my favourite verse. Like i know no matter wat, He is there for me.No matter how i think he isn't there and how i wanna run away, He will always bring me back to His embrace. its so comforting

I can't be happy without you. i just cant.

chill

2007-06-23T18:43:00.000+08:00

Today was a pretty relaxed day.

Went to nokia to collect my phone. Thank goodness they had my warranty thingy online.if not i'd be dead coz the repair would have cost 350 bucks

Scouted around isetan supermarket for my favourite bottled tea.They din have it..sigh..i'll miss the food in japan.

Bought a cook book fr borders!

Back home, back to reality

2007-06-22T23:45:00.000+08:00

i woke up early in the morning at 730 so that me and my mommy could rusg to the tidbit shop to do some last minute shopping. ok. i admit..im a hardcore shopaholic

We took a SUPER long flight home that stopped over at bangkok. i Din't watch any movies or play any games.no mood. tired, sick grumpy..still grumpy..bah..

Was supposed to read up on my endo notes for the test..but i ended up not even reading a single page. Ok..least i tried..haha.

Food on SQ was alright..nothing too fantastic..maybe coz my taste buds were kinda..screwed up..I miss business class..sigh..i had a french red wine..kinda helped to ease the sore throat a bit and help me sleep..

i guess the highlight of the flight was in flight shopping. i managed to convince my dad to buy me a dior travel make up kit and bobby brown eye shadow ( shimmer brick pallette)

i rushed to unpack all my stuff upon reaching home. I think im starting to be very conscious of mess. a good thing which i think Leonardo diffused to me. I NEED TO BE LESS MESSY! hhaha.

Kyoto

2007-06-21T22:21:00.000+08:00

we took the local train and subway to kyoto.

im REALLY sick..ive got no voice and im feeling so uncomfortable..

Thankfully...we found a 100 yen shop..so the lil' bit of shopping really helped perk me up a bit

Our first stop was Gion area . Thats the Geisha area. walking through the streets of the area makes me feel REALLY inspired to watch Memoirs of a Geisha again..

We saw a nun on the train and asked her for directions to the kyoto imperial palace. She told us to follow her since the church where she lived was near the palace. We visited the church and met a philipino priest that was stationed in kyoto. He was so kind as to walk us to the gates of the imperial palace. I Really do admire his faith and courage. He came to japan 2 years ago without even speaking a word of japanese. Now, he celebrates mass at the local churches in japanese! wow

Its such a retarded day. We went all the way to the imperial palace only to miss the entry time by 4 mins coz we tried to get the entry pass..geeezz...

We had to proceed to the ninjio palace at about 3pm...Only had an hour to view the main palace coz it closes at 4pm. sigh.bad planning and timing. I think we should have stayed a day in kyoto to visit all the historical sites. Its so much more interesting.

Our last stop was piwa lake at the end of the subway line. We were SUPPOSED to view the lake but i think we were just too too lazy.haha..ended up in the shopping mall beside the lake. Me and my bros were stuck in the archade for an hour playing games and trying our luck on the UFO catcher toy machine. We spent about 1,700 yen and we manage to get 3 toys!

Dinner was at a restaurant run by a middle age japanese couple. The food was the best of the whole trip. We paid 2,000 yen each ( thats abt 24 dollars each) for a set dinner. WOW... it was SO GOOD

Appetiser was french beans in sesame dressing and cold tofu. The cold tofu was SO CREAMY its better than bean curd. it was SO GOOD..

Next it was a HUGE plate of assorted sashimi ( tuna, snapper and squid)

Hot dishes included Tempura ( the prawn was the biggest prawn tempura ever) and Grilled fish ( i think it was yellow tail)

WOW is the only word i can use to describe the meal. WWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOWWWWW

The 6th day - I'm down

2007-06-21T00:46:00.000+08:00

Today im OFFCIALLY DOWN with the flu. i've got a sore throat, i feel lethargic, grumpy, phlegm-y. ok. i just feel like SHIT

It doesnt help that i bought the wrong contact lense solution. i think it was much too alkali and it stung my eyes like crazy. And it doesn' t help that my specs are tilted and totally out of balance..geez..Im just SO SO GRUMPY

i felt so horrible i couldn't even go to universal studio with my brothers. Sigh..i've come all the way to osaka..and bah..can't even go..

I wanna go home. yet i hate going back to face the harsh cruel realities of the complex world out there.

In the end u just ended up going shopping with my mom in the underground shops while we waited to check into the hotel.

i tried this Ashibata green drink thingy. iTs the juice of some kinda plant . It taste horrible..but i made me feel alot better.

we walked ALL THE WAY to Yodabashi camera and went for lunch at this healthy jap restaurant.

Shopping is REAALY THERAPEUTIC. i went to this shop called uniqlo . i bought 4 spaghetti straps, 2 dresses, 1 sports top and 1 belt =) yippppeeeeeeee.. i love shopping!

Last night, i dreamt of apple. i dreamt she had a prosthetic leg. SHe was running towards me and suddenly she fell and lay go the ground motionless. I was crying and i started to perform CPR on her and i managed to successfully resuscitate her..

i miss apple...i'd go to the ends of the earth to get her back..if only i could
Oh ya..no pictures for today..coz the camera was with my brothers at universal studios

Day 5 - beginning of grumpy-ness

2007-06-20T01:59:00.000+08:00

i went for a run with my brother, ray this morning. We just ran along the main road - straight all the way so we don't loose our way. We found a tofu shop run by a old man selling tofu and soybean milk..damn..we should have brought some coins out!

I made breakfast for my family. Toasted bread with melted cheese topped with japanese mushroom. Also cut some cucumber and tomatoes.

We went to a japanese wet market before going to catch a play. the wet market was pretty interesting.

We were scheduled to watch a play at the Traditional japanese theater. If im not wrong its supposed to be a Kabuki. But i think we actually ended up buying tickets for a comedy with no english translations. So we practically sat thru like the Whole play without understanding a single word. it was SO BORING. and a total waste of money..like the seats were quite expensive. I fell asleep..the most natural thing for me to do when im bored. haha..we left during the interval.

We shopped at shinsabashi. i bought a white straw bag. Also bought a white and black bag at the underground shopping area. I also got 2 pairs of shoes and pouches for my camera and handphones! i bought pris', graces' and kelli's present today! yipppee!

I'm getting sick..and im in DIRE NEED OF DETOXIFICATION. i think my body is super sensitive. Like im allergic to seafood, pork and alot of things..and i guess i've just had too much octopus and all that rubbish..geeezz...So my body is rapidly trying to get rid of the toxins.

Dinner was at this rubbishy japanese steam boat restaurant. its was so expensive and totally not worth the 2k yen. The beef was GROSS AND FATTY! i only ate the vegetables. i was so grumpy today. I feel shitty..and gross and yucky and sickly.

We went to the Yodabashi camera departmental store where they have 6 stories of electronic equipment. And guess wat i saw?? SYLVANIAN FAMIILY!

Sylvanian family is a set of toys that have been my childhood dream. I was given the house as a present but i never found the animal characters and furnitures displayed at the back of the box that i always wanted to buy. There were like SO MANY different sets! I particularly liked the bakery and the cake shop set!! It comes with all the miniature cakes and breads and all. they even sell the costumes for the animal characters and extra miniature pastries! gosh..i think this is gonna be on my birthday wish list..but its like S $60 for one set ( excluding the animal characters and costumes) ..bah

i kept thinking of my dog, apple today. I think it's coz i walked pass this Pet cafe thingy..i miss apple.. her gentleness, companionship. She was the one that really understood me. i don't know if Dogs go to heaven..but i'd like to believe that she's shinning down on me fr heaven.

Japan day 4 - we leave shirahama for osaka city

2007-06-19T17:00:00.000+08:00

i Woke up early in the morning..well..not that early..but early enough for me to go to the japanese style natural spring water spa. its just basically a spa with warm ( almost HOT) spring water. Aparrently the spring water has a lot of minerals and has like healing properties or smth.

We went to this place where there were rocks with stratified layers..( i dunno if this is wat u call them..coz the word stratified..sounds like.histology..like stratified columnar cells or smth).. but u get wat i mean..like Rocks with MANY different layers that accumulate over a few thousand years?? It was raining cats and dogs..and my silver covered toe shoes were totally soaked..it was so uncomfortable..eeeekkksss...

Lunch was at tore tore AGAIN. we really wanted to eat near the main bus terminal..unfortunately..the food there just din seem as apetizing and fresh as that in tore tore..

Today is DETOX DAY. i just had a simple seaweed salad and a unagi sushi. the Unagi sushi is nothing like the ones in singapore. In Sg, you get like a slice of unagi on top of ALOT Of rice..but over here..its like a bit of rice sandwiched in between a HUGE slice of unagi..yummmy...

I think i won't be able to survive in japan..like Most of the japanese dishes are like high carb and high protein and low fibre..i can't take it man..IM A COW!! i need GREENS! i realised that i choose my food for my meals by like category...im WEIRD.

We checked into a service apartment near town and had dinner at takashimaya. The food there was pretty price as compared to those elsewhere. They hava HUGE dessert section! we bought this berry and creme caramel parfait from a store called gramercy..wow..its was SO GOOD

I love holidays..it makes me feel...like im running away from the harsh realities of life..and retreating into my own little wonderland..

third day

2007-06-18T20:52:00.000+08:00

Dont have much time to type coz this internet connection is chargable. bah

on the 3rd day we went to shirahama. had to wake up really early to hav breakfast and catch the 8.04 am train, which we kinda missed.haha

i slept in the train all the way till we reached shirahama.i bought this drink that was so good! its like a mixed of different ingredients..taste like some roasted tea yummy.its my favourite tea..its better den green tea!

It was pouring the whole day. ARgh...we tookke a bus to this cave thingy on the way to the hotel. it really reminded me of pirates of the carribean

We had the cheapest and nicest ice cream ever. it was lie 100 yen for a really good gelato from this machine..haha

lunch was at tore tore. its kinda like a fish market and super market thingy..we had so much food..i think im on like a protein overload. we had unagi rice, tuna sashimi with rice and we had a really good sashimi..some kinda weird fish..for only 12 bucks..and it was the WHOLE fish.

We Bought a few bottles of beer - melon, plum and asahi beer as well as a bottle of sakaeit was SO GOOD. im gonna look for it when i get back to singapore.

we had dinner at the restaurant. assuper elaborate 10 course jap dinner. We had to wear the kimono thingys that they provided for us..There were ALOT of dishes and i was full by the like 4th dish. the first serving was japanese steam boat and egg custard and stewed pork.There was also sashimi, tempura, chawanmushi, miso soup, grilled fish, pickles, rice and orange. I was STUFFED to the max..After dinner we had to also finish up the pan seared tuna that we bought fr Tore tore. Geez..this is like the most i've eaten in like DAYS..i though i could just explode..

We had 2 rooms and the room was kinda like a japanese style room. It was pretty huge! there was a small living area, 2 super single beds and a small room separated fr the rest of the room by sliding japanese doors. there were tatami mats on this doors and while we were at dinner, the traditional japanese beds were layed out for us on the tatami mats. interesting..but i was too tired to be advanturous..haha..i decided i needed the comfort of a Bed..

2nd day

2007-06-16T08:26:00.001+08:00

I hate waking up early in the morning, especially when i could do with ALOT more sleep ( to get rid of those eye bags) and when ihave to wait a whole 30 mins for others to get up and get changed.

breakfast was japanese breakfast. Its a pretty interesting spread of dishes eg: seasoned hijiki seaweed, kimchi, shredded carrots with turnip, grilled fish, rice, porridge Its a good change fr the regular internation/american breakfast, although they did have omelette and sausages and toast.

i tried a bit of each dish and i also tried fermented japanese soy beans ( nato miso) . Its SO STICKY! haha..but it taste interesting..And i had salad with japanese seasame seed dressing..yummy! And i was craving for some strawberry yoghurt. Since they only had plain yoghurt ..i decided to be innovative..i had plain yoghurt sprinkled with sugar and strawberry jam..haha..Also added some corn flakes for that extra crunch and mixed fruit cocktail.

i went to shinshibashi area to do some shopping today. its this REALLY long street with alot of shops. the things werent extremely expensive to my surprise..but neither were that cheap. i bought 2 gifts for frens (im not saying what it is in case whoever im giving them to are reading this!)

we had lunch at golden dragon ramen shop. the noodles were REALLY GOOD..nothing similar to those in singapore..too bad i couldn:t really eat them..coz im allergic to pork for some reason..and eating anything with pork wil give me a sorethroat, runny nose and fever..geezz

i also queued up to by takoyaki ( japanese octopus balls) . THis shop apparently has one of the best takoyaki in town..so i HAD to try it..even if it meant queuing in the crazily hot sun..geez

It was defnitely worth the wait ..yummmyyy

After that we proceeded to the aquarium and watched a IMAX 3D movie. IF im not wrong its called deep sea II..reminds me of the days i watched those 3D movies at science center. haha..there was this thing about the triton trumpet snail eating the sea star.im gonna try to find the pic online and put it up..its so cool..one day im gonna go diving or snorkelling..

For dinner..we had random food at the food court next to the aquarium. THe highlight of the meal was shaved ice with green tea syrup and red bean paste..YUMMMYY im gonna try to find it in singapore..i ABSOLUTELY LOVE greentea red bean

2 days in japan and i realised several things abt japanese

1. The ladies almost always wear stockings with open toe heels ( so unglam)

2. Black leggings seem to be the in thing

3. Almost ALL the ladies wear thick make up and mascara. They all seem to have really long curled lashes...i wonder wats the secret to that..or maybe its just fake eyelashes.haha

4. many of the ladies wear spaghetti straps or tubes...but virtually ALL Of them wear a cardigan over..perhaps japan is still a very conservative. And im like the ONLY person wearing a tank top without a cardigan ( the only person i saw wearing a tank top was a caucasian lady)

5. most japanese have sharp noses

6. on the average, japanese guys are more good looking than an average singaporean guy ( sorry guys!

7. The average japanese girl isn:t as pretty as an average singaporean girl..and they look no where near ayumi hamasaki ( is that how u spell her name)

8. all the japanese girls are very elaborately dressed and have really elaborate hairdos and dyed hair.

oh ya,..there is smth i must mention..while we were buying tickets for this japanese theatre show..the lady selling us the tickets at the counter had REALLY LONG INCISORS..they were like probably twice the size of mine..maybe like 20mm?? geezzz..ok..sorry that was totally irrelevant haha..

thats all for today..im going to another hotel tmr..so hopefully there will still be internet connection.

1st day in japan.

2007-06-15T19:47:00.000+08:00

picture of me and my family at the lounge in singapore

view of the sunrise from my seat in the plane

i arrived in japan safelY! thank good ness this place has internet connection. i can't upload any pics for now coz im using this free internet station at the hotel.

It was a very tiring plane ride. Din't get to sleep much.. they served breakfast at like 5am singapore time. geezz.

Upon arrival we had to take the JR train thingy to our hotel, which is Hineno train station hotel (i think). After dropping off the luggages we proceeded to take the JR train to a marina (i have yet to check out the name).

This marina place has like a fishmarket kinda thing..like marche..but all jap food. We ordered a variety of dishes (pictures of which i'll post another time). Rice with raw fish,see urchin egg and fish roe. ALso had raw tuna sushi. my bro's ordered ramen ( which was extremely salty)

Being ME..i had to have some kinda veg..so i went over to tthe nearby market to buy some fruits and vegetable chips..i know im weird..i can't have a meal without vegetables.. i'll become...grumpy..

At 1230 we were at the main entrance of the market place thingy, where there was a demonstration of this chef slicing up a HUGE tuna into like fillets....my family bought a slab of freshly sliced sashimi.it was so good and inexpensive. like REALLY FRESH sashimi 3 times the amount being served at sakae sushi for only 12 sing.

well dessert is a must..so we just grabbed a small cup of green tea ice cream from the shop beside the market.After we walked out of the shop we realised that there was a cafe selling gelato! argh...

After that we proceeded to the wakayama castle..don't ask me why they call it a castle..but it was certainly a CHORE walking up those steps and slopes before reaching the castle. I was so tired that i just din go into the castle in the end...thats SO RETARDED. we rested at this wooden table where there was a hello kitty popcorn machine..gosh. i've NEVER seen a popcorn machine in my life...not to mention a hello kitty popcorn machine that talks geezz..Are japanese THAT crazy abt hello kitty??

we had to take another train back to the hotel. i just totally fell asleep. im SO TIRED..only had like 4 hours of sleep on the plane..and not to mention the night before i left i went mambo..argh

we had dinner at jusco. I couldn't stand not eating vegetables anymnore..so i decided to buy jap salad fr the super market! haha..yummyy.. they have super alot of types of salad..and some pretty interesting ones japanese ones too that i have never seen in singapore.. i LOVE SUPERMARKETS!! didnt have much time to explore..but im definitely going back tomorrow!

i bought a pink and brown straw bag for only 1000 yen..which is probably 12 bucks.And my mom bought a matching bangle for the bag..haha..Girls are just so trouble some..always have to match this and that..thats why sometimes i just hate being a girl..geezz

sometimes i wonder why i am the way i am. all my idiosyncracies..my weird emotions..my selective dependance..just thinking of them drives me nuts. They never fail to get me to trouble. SOme times..i wish i werent the way i were..i don't wanna hurt anyone..and neither do i ever wanna get hurt. bah..never mind..

alrighty..thats all for today..i seriously need a good rest. *yawn*

im leaving on a jet plane

2007-06-14T23:35:00.000+08:00

i had to DRAG myself out of bed today. Made brownie tart and cranberry and pistachio biscotti!! yummy ! made them for dr winston tan since my Bro was going for a checkup at 2.30pm. was rushing like mad to finish baking and i had to pack them when they were just out of the oven. ( will post the pictures when i get back)

Dr Tan is SO NICE! Oh my gosh... he used black silk suture to tighten the gauze that was inserted into the space created by the cyst. THe pathology results are out. Its odontogenic keratin cyst (OKC) which has a high rate of recurrence. Fortunately it is benign.

im at the kris flyer lounge right now. Leaving for osaka for 6 days. returning to the 21st june. Hopefullly i can get internet connection and can post pictures. Im gonna try to convince my dad to get me a pink digi cam =) yipppeeeee...

To the world u may just be someone, but to someone u may be the world

2007-06-14T13:49:00.000+08:00

i finally finished ALL my FP ( fixed prosthodontics) lab work in school..i reaaalllyyy chiong like mad tofinish my crown prep and resin pattern. Managed to get to borders by about 4ish to get Father leslie's present. Got him a book ' 1001 smartest quotes' ..or smth like that..and a card that says ' To the world u may be someone, but to someone u may be the world' i thought that was so sweet..

Father Leslie is really so nice..He's really my friend in need..and he's always there for me..and always praying for me.. im gonna miss all our blabbering-random-retarded-nonsense- sessions while he's gone. And he only returns. AFTER my birthday..geezzz

i saw this SUPER nice i pod jacket for my ipod nano! i think im gonna get it when i return..yay!

Went to Mambo last night with kelli and her fren andrea. It was a crazy night. We had to queue to get into velvet. Kelli dint bring her ID. geeez..i had to like convince the door bitch that she was my age and like show my ID and all. We met ravin while queuing. pris was at the zouk queue. Saw kendrew while queuing and he was with a few friends that din't have a chop..so guess we just kindly let them cut the queue

Zouk was PACKED! gosh. it was like a stampede. CRAZINESS!! i saw cindy at zouk with her Hwachong friends. Also met up with glen the gentle giant! haha. Didn't really drink much. Tried butterscotch vodka, apple shooter..and had a heineken n a champaigne...

Pris was going absolutely crazY!! haha... pris is hot!!

i Realised things that i shouldnt have - ignorance is bliss. The hurt and pain rushed thru me and it remained.. longer then i thought they would. Why the hypocrisy, the double standards and all? The trust is broken, hope is bleak and my heart is shattered.

Thank you, for always being there. For never failing to cheer me up and put and smile on my face. I thank GOd for you in my life. I don't know how to repay you, i dont know if i ever will be able to..in the way you'd wan me to.

I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
And my scars remind me that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel

drunk and i'm feeling down
And I just wanna be alone
I'm pissed cause you came around
Why don't you just go home
Cause you channel all your pain
And I can't help you fix yourself
You're making me insaneAll I can say is

I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
And our scars remind us that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel

I tried to help you once
Against my own advice
I saw you going down
But you never realized
That you're drowning in the water
So I offered you my hand
Compassions in my nature
Tonight is our last stand

[Chorus]

I'm drunk and I'm feeling down
And I just wanna be alone
You shouldn't ever come around
Why don't you just go home?
Cause you're drowning in the water
And I tried to grab your hand
And I left my heart open
But you didn't understand
But you didn't understand

Go fix yourself
I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life

Long awaited holidays

2007-06-13T01:27:00.000+08:00

Gosh..the holidays are FINALLY here..after a long and tortuorous 9 weeks of school.

its been a busy and relaxing weekend so far. So i guess thats a good start

Thursday 7th June

I met John and Jervis at Spagheddies at marina square..and i had the same old boring oriental chicken salad with honey mustard ( the chilli dressing is WAY to0 spicy)

oriental chicken salad

jervis had spaghetties with meatballs..and John had..some salmon with red wine thingy. i think john and jervis are both SO CUTE. its just the way they share their food with each other and how they tease each other GOSH.

I've known john since like FOREVER..probably even before we take our first step..Good old John..I know he's someone i can always count on.. LOVE U JOHN!!! oh ya..john..u better intro me OFFICIALLY to rui ying..hmphf

After that we had bakerzin!! yummy!! oh my gosh.. macaroons just drive me crazy.

MACAROONS GALORE!

we had raspberry, chocolate, sweet pleasure, lemon chocolate, hazelnut and chocolate coffee. And not to mention a cake too!

Friday 8th June

LAST DAY OF SCHOOLL!!!! yippeeee!!! I had dinner at Big O and i had the portabello mushroom and tofu burger..just makes me feel like cooking..i ought too..since the hols are here.

Glen ORD today!! i went down to butterfactory. JUST FOR U GLEN! all his frens were super high.it was crazy.

Saturday 9th June

I met kelli ( my dad's boss' daughter) and her friend Kara. We were supposed to Go clubbing at either MOS or Attica..but both of them were too happening. They went club hopping the night before and were dead tired. so we just ended up at brewerkz. ordered a bottle of Rose wine, which unfortunately tasted like WATER. hmmmm....

Sunday 10th June

I had to Drag myself out of bed at 745 in the morning. My youngest bro was having a operation at mount Alvernia at 930 and i had to pic pris up. He had a cyst between his lower left canine and premolar and it was HUGE!!!!! it extended like lingually ( behind is teeth towards his tongue) . Dr winston tan said it was a keratin cyst and had high chance of recurrence. But thankfully it is benign.

Dr winston tan is SO NICE! I din know he goes to the same church as me. he's like so successful and all but he is so nice and humble. i think im bake him something..and make him a model of the lambourgini galardo ( or however u spell it) . He was saying that he wanted that car but he promised his wife not the change cars for the next 5 years.

I met Kara and Kelli in the evening after sending my brother back to camp. We had dinner at EQUINOX! its like my favourite restaurant. I had some polenta thingy( which wasn't too impressive) . 3 of us shared Sweet tempatations this dessert platter for 2 . Yummy.

Stayed over at mount alvernia with ian. the pillow was SO HARD and uncomfortable i just slept on my hand.

Monday 11th June

I met kelli and Kara for lunch. we had mexican food at Cha cha cha at holland v. i had a taco salad.

i did some last minute shopping with Kara before her flight at 8pm. i bought like 3 tops for future state and a black and white tube dress!! all for less than 100 bucks.

Why must everything always turn out so screwed up. Sometimes i wonder if its just me. The feeling doesnt go away like u promised it would.Everythings around just brings back bittersweet memories. perhaps im just holding on memories , for memories sustains the gimmer of hope.

Faith hope and love

2007-06-13T00:47:00.000+08:00

Its so weird how i decided to start this blog. For i never believed in blogging and proclaiming to the everyone my thoughts and all. perhaps Im just afraid of unknowingly being understood inside out.

L'espoir de foi et aime - faith hope and love. Its my favourite verse from the bible. its sounds really cliche and overused, hence the french..i can't think of any other title. So i'll settle with that for now. But i guess its these that keep me going, that gives me strength to tide thru the darkest times

i know my address is SO BORING AND UNCREATIVE.. but i guess..its just the most practical..and the title says it all..coz the blog is just abt my life. Geezz.. how i wish i had some literary flare like grace..but..too bad...oh wells

so bear with me as i start posting blog entries and try to figure this whole blog thingy out.